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Discussion Starter #1
So I have an issue with my wife. I want a bike so bad, but my wife thinks that bikes are "death machines". She doesn't want me to die is genuinely afraid of me getting severely hurt or killed.
Has anybody ever had this happen with their spouse? I've taken the MSF and have tried to convince her, but she is still terrified. I don't want to just buy one and cause a problem, also that amount of money is a joint decision.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
 

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Premium Member
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Yes

Yes, been in the same situation. She also did not like me drinking beer, talking with other women, and having a stuffed animal.

I now have four road worthy bikes, several stuffed bears, and drink many beers with my new and improved main squeeze.

Sorry my cure may not be the best for you.

Unkle Krusty*
 

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American Legion Rider
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It can be a marriage breaker. No doubt about it. If she wants to control your life and you can live with it then that's your choice. It is all about control in the end.

People use death or health to control. What is your reason to want to ride? And what is her TRUE reason for you not to? Chances are she's afraid of living on her own. Does she bring income into the family? Will buying a bike be a financial burden? You have to ask and answer all these issues jointly. Or one or both will be unhappy and the marriage will suffer.

Ask her why she finds it necessary to control what you do. That might very will be the introduction to some nasty battles. Wish you luck with your handler though.
 

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Female Rider
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Do you have any friends that ride? Know any women that ride? If so, maybe someone could take her for a nice easy ride. Is there a reason she is afraid? You might talk her into taking the BRC. That might help relieve her anxiety. It should also make her a better passenger and may even make her want her own bike.

Having said all that, when you ride you need to understand that things CAN and DO happen. You cannot control what folks in cars and trucks near you are doing. You also should have a little "anxiety" about riding. That will keep you more aware of what you are doing and it will keep you more aware of what is going on around you.

All in all, get a bike as soon as you can and quit wasting time. But be fore warned...it is addicting. ;) Good Luck with your wife. I'm so glad my husband wasn't like that.
 

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A legend in his own mind
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Well the best I can say is to try to inform her of actual statistics. Yes it can be dangerous, and it's up to us to make it much less so. My dad rode for a little over 40 years and never had an accident on the road. I've been riding on an off for about 20, I have yet to have an accident (praise God).
I almost died twice from car accidents, once as a passenger and once as a pedestrian. Still I won't avoid cars for the rest of my life.
Perhaps if you could convince her to take the BRC she would feel differently also? She might really like it herself or at least feel better about you riding.
It might all come down to a lot of begging or convincing. Good Luck
 

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Ace Tuner
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Marriage is not a 50/50 thing. Sometimes one needs more than the other.
Does she need to be free of fear on this issue? Do you need to be free to ride?
Sorry, that's all I got.
 

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Shaper Of All Things Metal
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Your wife is correct... you ARE going to die. You could die tonight in your sleep or get hit by a bus tomorrow. We just don't know, but when we start down the path of 'what if' reasoning, we'll end up not doing anything.

Do you have some riding friends or at least acquaintances that could come along side to help allay your wife's fears?
 

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Aging & Worn
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I can speak from recent personal experience that buying a bike, CAN ruin a 37 year marriage. Buy one at your own risk!

-soupy
 

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MODERATOR
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All motorcycles are death machines.

So are bicycles, Cars and trucks, space shuttles, airplanes, step ladders, trikes, roller and ice skates--ad nauseam.

Life is wonderful but death eventually has his way with us.

Safety is the thing that takes the 'sword of Damocles' and sets it aside.

You can cross the street and not look both ways and in a heartbeat (your last) be ascending into Heaven---if you've been a good little boy or girl;)

Or you can look both ways, and carefully cross a thousand times, it's all up to you unless an invisible vehicle hits you:p Google is working on one!:p

All in all, Utah is a very safe place to ride compared to others. There are some very wide open spaces to learn and develop your skills.

Don't drink nor do any recreational drugs nor prescription drugs, watch out for others and ride PARANOID and you'll likely enjoy riding for a very long time.

I've been riding legally on the street for 53 years, currently on a real high horsepower and torque death machine (2012 Triumph Rocket 3 Roadster) and I do so as safely as I did on my first Honda 50, in 1962. I've never had an accident or injury!

To me, the motorcycle instead of being a 'death machine,' is a 'Life machine,' because of all the fun and therapy it provides:wink:

Sam:coffeescreen:
 

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When I first wanted a minibike at around eight years old it took a lot of pleading and begging with mom and dad to get one. Here I am getting close to fifty years later with off and on riding, riding until around thirty then taking almost twenty years off until the urge came back. Now there isn't anyone telling me I can't, unfortunately you may need to decide if the wife is worth the trouble or the freedom is more important. Sure motorcycles are dangerous, that is part of the thrill just like skydiving, rock climbing or any other activity in which the danger level that reach the chance of death at any time. The choice must be yours, is riding more important or is the wife the controlling force in your life?
 

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Hero of Legend
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1,208 Posts
So I have an issue with my wife. I want a bike so bad, but my wife thinks that bikes are "death machines". She doesn't want me to die is genuinely afraid of me getting severely hurt or killed.
Has anybody ever had this happen with their spouse? I've taken the MSF and have tried to convince her, but she is still terrified. I don't want to just buy one and cause a problem, also that amount of money is a joint decision.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
Truth be told, you're marked for death sooner or later, regardless. The best you can do, is aim for high score.

That said, yes, there are certain levels of danger in straddling. That's the risk we take. But it's also a moderate risk that is usually avoidable with proper skills and defensive driving.

I had to deal with the same paranoia when I decided I was buying a bike. Same fears. Same concerns. In the end, I made it clear that this was my decision and I stand by it. I bought my bike, and brought it home ( on a trailer ). I agreed to take the class, just as a compromise for all concerned parties, under the condition that, upon completion, I would hear no more about it. I'm riding, and that's final. Regardless of who might not like it. I took the class, passed it, went home, and hopped on. Been riding ever since.

I have found that most of those fears, while they'll never really "go away" will cool off once she sees that you can handle it, and come home fully intact.

But do wear all your gear. And I'd recommend at least a 3/4 helmet. Halfies look cool, and all, but you'll be safer with a 3/4 or full, and the Mrs will probably feel at least a little better with it.
 

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So I have an issue with my wife. I want a bike so bad, but my wife thinks that bikes are "death machines". She doesn't want me to die is genuinely afraid of me getting severely hurt or killed.
Has anybody ever had this happen with their spouse? I've taken the MSF and have tried to convince her, but she is still terrified. I don't want to just buy one and cause a problem, also that amount of money is a joint decision.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
Been there, done that. You might encourage her to take the MSF instruction herself. After my wife went with my youngest daughter to take the course her whole attitude changed for the better. Well, it seemed better to me.
 

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Very Famous Person
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--

When I think back on my life, I don't recall with much pleasure those days spent being a couch potato, or snoozing in a chair on the back porch, or even visiting some relatives. I remember all the exciting adventures I had, most of them with my wife.

If I were to just start out riding, once I felt confident enough, I would have my wife join me. If she loves me, she will not only want to share the fun, but respect my desire to do something I love to do. In return, I should be willing to share her desire to go to quilt shows, or try to line dance. Marriage is a partnership of sharing.

--
 

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I can see both sides of this. Motorcycle riding on public roads is incredibly dangerous in my opinion. Although I can only think of one thing I enjoy more than motorcycle riding, I gave it up for over 25 years until this past July when I started riding again.

The reason I gave it up was that I saw someone I didn't know get killed on a motorcycle right in front of me thru no fault of his own. I was several hundred feet behind him in a car. We were both cruising along a 5-lane road (undivided except for having a center turn lane) at around 50 mph in a 45 mph zone. A drunk driver accelerated out of a parking lot right as he passed. He never had a chance. That shook me up really bad but I kept riding almost every day. For a week.

A week later a driver turned into my path at the last minute when I was doing 45 mph on my bike. He hit me - and ran - didn't stop - but thru a miracle I was not seriously injured as I laid into a turn away from him as hard as I could and he hit the rear of my bike instead of head on which would surely have killed me since he was in a big pickup truck. I sold the bike after that within a week. I had two young children at home at the time.

My kids are all grown now and my wife is very supportive and as others have said SOMETHING is going to kill me. I'm hoping its old age, but I understand the risk I take every time I ride.

I totaled the first bike I owned when I was a teenager, the crash broke my nose and a finger and gave me a bunch of stitches. I was on my back for three days. Another time I landed in the e.r. for stitches when I hit a pocket of loose gravel in a turn at about 25 mph (guessing at speed here).

Yes I can see both sides - riding on public roads is very dangerous. Honestly I'm thankful none of my adult children currently ride, and I wish my oldest grandson didn't.

Sent from my K013 using Tapatalk
 

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I agree with Eye! But I see life as a balancing act in many ways.

Don't let the fear of Death keep you from living - but don't allow false confidence, lack of respect for the risk factors or reckless behavior put you in an early grave.
Don't let the fear of Death keep you from living.
 

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American Legion Rider
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I agree with Eye! But I see life as a balancing act in many ways.

Don't let the fear of Death keep you from living - but don't allow false confidence, lack of respect for the risk factors or reckless behavior put you in an early grave.
My signature line even speaks to that in many ways.
 

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Charlie Tango Xray
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Wow, I married my high school sweetheart. Been happily married ever since. We rode a lot before we had kids, And we didn't get back into riding heavy until after our kids were old enough to fend for themselves. Anyone that thinks getting married means giving up your freedom, and or winning some kind of a sad power struggle, is doing it wrong. Its about choices and responsibility.
I'd insurance up heavy in case your wife, (the person who probably knows you best, and the one most likely to suffer) turns out to be right. Because making your loved ones pay the price for your "freedom" is wrong.
 
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