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Hey guys my name is Aryan and I'm twenty years old. I've been driving since 15 1/2 with my permit and got my driver's license at sixteen.

Up until my current age (20), I haven't been in a position to purchase and get myself the things that I've desired for a long time. Riding has always been a interest of mine since I was a young child growing up in Tehran, Iran.

Fast forward, now I am 20 years old, work full time at $18/hourly, have my own car, pay my own insurance, pay my own gas, car payments, everything.

Now that I have around $7-8k saved up and rising, I'm in the mood to get my bike permit and eventually license (california law requires a learner's permit for six months if under 21).

I purchased my gear today (full face helmet, leather jacket, heavy duty gloves, boots, and protective denim pants.

I'm also enrolled in California motorcyclist safety program (MSF) that start next week.

My problem is my parent's, mainly my mother and older brother.

When I told my dad about it, he was okay with it as long as I am fully conscious and aware of my decision, the risks, the danger, the expenses, and etc.

Mother, on the other hand, is completely against me owning a motorcycle. She immediately said along the lines of "I don't approve of it, it's dangerous, you'll get yourself killed, blah blah blah" that I expect all parents to react to their kids saying an "outrageous" statement such as "I am getting myself a motorcycle."

Keep in mind that both of my parents are divorced, they absolutely do not get along with one another, and are polar opposites.

Dad used to ride when he was my age as a young adult in Iran, during the 1970's and 1980's.

Regardless of what both parents think, I am fully aware of my decisions and actions regarding motorcycle riding and the "dangers." It's my hard earned money, I pay my own expenses, I decide how I spend my income, not my parents, or anyone else.

I am the one paying for it, I will be the one paying the insurance, I will be paying for all the gear, classes, fees, registration, safety courses, and such.

It doesn't matter to me what they think; they will get over it eventually.

What do you experienced riders think about my situation?

I'm also in college full time.

other info, I've been driving manual/stick for over four years, with owning two "fast" sports cars. A 1995 twin turbo 3000gt vr4 6 speed, and a 2003 SVT Cobra (4.6 supercharged v8).

I'm more than comfortable and confident enough that I can now handle a bike at my current age, compared to if I was 16-18 years old. For god's sake, I'm almost 21.

Yes, I'm aware that they are my parents, i always consider my parent's input on any major decision I make, listen to them, and so on. But this time it is my personal desire and one of them is strongly against it.

Any input is appreciated.

As for first bike, I am thinking of a 2000-2001 Ninja 250R.

Many thanks,
Aryan
 

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From a mothers point of view (who rides herself). My son wants to learn to ride. Im not against it per say but i cant sit there and watch him learn neither. Moms worry. We always think the worst is going to happen. You need to sit with her and go over your plans. Show her all your safety gear that might help. Try to respect her as much as possible. I explained to my dad that i accepted the consequences and dangers of riding and that i woulf rather die doing something i love rather than a horrible death like cancer.

Not sure if u still live at home or not but if u live under moms roof even though you are 20 you still have to live by her rules. She may say no motorcycles at my house. Prepare yourself for that
 

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From a mothers point of view (who rides herself). My son wants to learn to ride. Im not against it per say but i cant sit there and watch him learn neither. Moms worry. We always think the worst is going to happen. You need to sit with her and go over your plans. Show her all your safety gear that might help. Try to respect her as much as possible. I explained to my dad that i accepted the consequences and dangers of riding and that i woulf rather die doing something i love rather than a horrible death like cancer.

Not sure if u still live at home or not but if u live under moms roof even though you are 20 you still have to live by her rules. She may say no motorcycles at my house. Prepare yourself for that
Indeed, I am aware that is in the nature and pure instinct of a mother to worry for the well being of their off-spring(s), especially regarding dangerous activities. I have attempted to sit down with her and go over my plans; take MSF classes, learn to LEGALLY operate a motorcycle, learn how to maneuver in certain scenarios, how to react to dangerous events, the restrictions I will have on my learner's permit until I can get my license, and so on.

Funny thing is, I purchased all my safety gear earlier today while SHE was with me in the store. She was even quizzing the salesman about helmet sizes, types, jackets, gloves, and other little details. Believe me, I am one of the most respectful and considerate individuals that you will encounter in this chaotic world. I live with my dad and older brother, while I do pay rent, utilities, internet, and such also. I feel that as a "roommate" who pays my portion of the expenses, I have the power to choose for myself. However, I do plan to move out in a few months, possibly by my 21st birthday coming up in half a year.

I have no problem getting the motorcycle at all, just don't want to deal with the "hurt feelings and butt hurt" of my mom and older brother that they didn't "get their way." Their personality traits is the type who is used to always getting everything done their way, and people should always do whatever they are told by them, which I strongly disagree with and have conflicting views.
 

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You sound like a smart kid with a good head on your shoulders. Kudos to mom and dad for raising a respectful adult. Mom was with you shopping. Sounds like she is starting to open up a bit by asking questions and such. Dont write her off yet she may possibly come around. Just might take a bit of time. I know i spent 43 years of my life not riding because i thought my parents would disapprove. Dad took it well. Mom passed on before i started to ride so i dont know what her reaction would have been. I really wish i had started riding years ago. If this is something that you really are into than i say try the brc course and see where things go from there. As far as your brother goes as much as i love my brother i wouldnt let what he thinks stop me from doing what i wanted to do. Mom maybe to a point but not a sibling. Maybe if you wait till you move out on your own to purchase bike?? What they dont see.........if mom is still adimmit about bike maybe not riding it to family functions would save some face. Just give her some time to warm up to the idea. Maybe she's got questions she needs answers to. Send her here we will try to help.

Whatever you do ride safe and use that melon.
 

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What's your driving record history like? Got many tickets? Any crashes or insurance claims? You do seem to like huge HP cars, and I've always WISHED I could have had a SVT Cobra those things are awesome!

Maybe to appease your mom if you DO decide to go get a bike, consider buying something more non-threatening-looking than a sport bike? Old folks see something like even a small CBR as a factory cruise missile meant for pure speed, and they are sort of correct in that thinking.

Consider instead to get something like a small cruiser, or standard, or even a naked bike as your 1st motorcycle. Drive it for a year or so just to learn on, and then after that buy a sportbike if that's what you really want..

Just a suggestion :) good luck
 

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Paste a small picture of your mom on your dashboard. Use it to remind yourself about her love, and concern for your safety. When you're tempted to make a hero pass, pass on the shoulder, or otherwise ride stupid, look down at her picture. She's not trying to take away your fun. She just doesn't want to see you hurt or killed. Ride conservatively like one of us 50 year old guys and you'll be fine. Ride like a teenager and you'll be dead within a year. A bike isn't a muscle car. You can't screw up and walk away, uninjured. The smallest mistake, even just a moment's inattention and you're in a wheelchair, or brain-injured. Decide if you're actually READY to give up the hot-rodding, speeding, etc. for the privilege of getting to ride a bike.

Cheers.
 

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It was the same for me, it's normal!!! You know what your mother think then you should at least ride more carefully.........ciao
 

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TRUST

Be very considerate and avoid all tempting and risky situations on your bike.
Eventually, your mother will come to trust your instincts on your bike.
She will always worry.

But remember that it is your life. You do not want to spend the rest of your life tailoring your activities to your mom's likings.

You appear to be a kid who really has his act together. That should mean a lot to your parents.

Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
What's your driving record history like? Got many tickets? Any crashes or insurance claims? You do seem to like huge HP cars, and I've always WISHED I could have had a SVT Cobra those things are awesome!

Maybe to appease your mom if you DO decide to go get a bike, consider buying something more non-threatening-looking than a sport bike? Old folks see something like even a small CBR as a factory cruise missile meant for pure speed, and they are sort of correct in that thinking.

Consider instead to get something like a small cruiser, or standard, or even a naked bike as your 1st motorcycle. Drive it for a year or so just to learn on, and then after that buy a sportbike if that's what you really want..

Just a suggestion :) good luck
My driving record is completely clean. Never been pulled over, never had an accident, and no tickets besides one parking ticket for expired meter in San Francisco haha. Terminators are great cars! Decade old but still haul and burn rubber!

I'm still learning and educating myself about the many times of bikes out there, different engine designs, horsepower and torque, transmissions, body styles, brands, and models.

The bike that Captain America rode in the first movie looks bad ass. I wouldn't something like that if I could afford it lol.

I didn't think of that. Great suggestion.
Likewise.

Paste a small picture of your mom on your dashboard. Use it to remind yourself about her love, and concern for your safety. When you're tempted to make a hero pass, pass on the shoulder, or otherwise ride stupid, look down at her picture. She's not trying to take away your fun. She just doesn't want to see you hurt or killed. Ride conservatively like one of us 50 year old guys and you'll be fine. Ride like a teenager and you'll be dead within a year. A bike isn't a muscle car. You can't screw up and walk away, uninjured. The smallest mistake, even just a moment's inattention and you're in a wheelchair, or brain-injured. Decide if you're actually READY to give up the hot-rodding, speeding, etc. for the privilege of getting to ride a bike.

Cheers.
Safety is always my main concern anytime I sit behind my steering wheel or in this case, handlebars haha. I will definitely drive like a 70 year old instead of 50 LOL. As for hot-rods, muscle cars, performance, and "adrenaline," I already traded in my SVT Cobra for a 2006 v4 honda accord ex-l sedan. That's one fast gone! As for my 3000gt vr4, selling that and using some of the money for a decent beginners bike, and pocketing the rest for future maintenance, insurance payments, and etc. I want something fun and considerably reliable while I'm studying full time in college. I don't want "sports cars" until I graduate, pay off student loan debts, own a piece of property and more. I had my fun for hot rods with the Cobra! Bolt ons, exhaust, and cam pushed me close to 500 horses. Fun car but dangerous!

I used to watch my friends in middle school ride dirt bikes during the weekend. Now I can join them on the real road as an educated and aware rider!

It was the same for me, it's normal!!! You know what your mother think then you should at least ride more carefully.........ciao
Thank you for time and input man. I'm hoping mom and brother will learn to get over it eventually lol. Both of their driving is freaking dangerous; speeding, cutting others in traffic, not fully stopping at red lights, braking late, talking on phone while operating a vehicle, and such. They both are a hazard on the road in my opinion.

TRUST

Be very considerate and avoid all tempting and risky situations on your bike.
Eventually, your mother will come to trust your instincts on your bike.
She will always worry.

But remember that it is your life. You do not want to spend the rest of your life tailoring your activities to your mom's likings.

You appear to be a kid who really has his act together. That should mean a lot to your parents.

Good luck!
I am well aware of the dangers of riding from personal experience; father had a major crash as a passenger on the back of a friend's suzuki back in 1985 before I was born. A friend of mine in high school also got in an accident leaving him with broken bones and in crutches. I sincerely and genuinely mean this when I say I shall never attempt to endanger my own life or other commuters for the sake of "thrills." I have my fun at the local infineon raceway track here in Sonoma County, California. Have fun the safe and legal way :D. Thanks for thinking of my well being and safety, I appreciate the kindness.

I forgot to add some info about myself to help find a suitable bike. I'm 6 feet tall, weigh 183 lbs, we'll built and lift at gym.
 

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Thank you for time and input man. I'm hoping mom and brother will learn to get over it eventually lol. Both of their driving is freaking dangerous; speeding, cutting others in traffic, not fully stopping at red lights, braking late, talking on phone while operating a vehicle, and such. They both are a hazard on the road in my opinion.
I would not hesitate to use that to your advantage when they question your desire to ride if it's true and you can point to examples. For them to deny you because they are poor drivers is not justification on their part. Are they leading by example? Not hardly. Nail them with their own hypocrisy. Some would say it's fighting dirty but this world is full of hypocrites saying one thing and doing the opposite. It's fair to use it against them as far as I concerned but make sure you aren't pointing at yourself as well.
 

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I would not hesitate to use that to your advantage when they question your desire to ride if it's true and you can point to examples. For them to deny you because they are poor drivers is not justification on their part. Are they leading by example? Not hardly. Nail them with their own hypocrisy. Some would say it's fighting dirty but this world is full of hypocrites saying one thing and doing the opposite. It's fair to use it against them as far as I concerned but make sure you aren't pointing at yourself as well.
I've used that card before multiple times during the times when I was still dependent on them for covering my expenses (buying my first car, not allowed to choose what I want) and so on. In the end, I will buy a motorcycle that I like. Mom may be mad and angry with me for a while (could be weeks to months). I'm just thinking about how to break the news to her and deal with the train of emotions; anger, rage, and disappointment that is choo-chooing towards me lol
 

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OK, so here I am at 66 years old, 67 this month, and I have the same problem. Every time I am around my dad I need to listen to his lecture about how unsafe my bike is. Mostly I just ignore it. There is no way I will ever change his mind on the subject. I have been riding since I was 18 years old and nothing has changed except which bike I choose to ride. Let's see, 66-18=48. I have heard the same old story for my 48 years of riding.
 

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How's this? Mom, I need to tell you something. I'm gay and have Aids. When she stops crying tell the truth. Well it might work with some as a shock factor. Wouldn't have worked with mine since she was open minded and raised me the same. Or you've taken up bowling as a career. But you get the idea. Tell her something she never wants to hear other than you riding. Then give her the good news. Heck she's going to be angry anyway according to you. What do you have to lose? :)
 

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Here is a good way to explain things to mom. Riding a motorcycle is only as dangerous as one makes it. If you are taking chances and pushing past the limits of a bike, yes death is almost upon you. If you drive normally and keep a vigilant eye on traffic your chanced of dying goes way down. You can die slipping on a bannanna peal. Things r going to happen in life. You need to live for today cause tomorrow may never come. But you can't live your life being afraid of everything that may kill you or it wouldnt be a life worth living.
 

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My parents were strongly opposed to me getting a motorcycle. When I asked my dad to help me out, he used to say, "I'm not going to sign your death warrant". But, it was in my blood, and I was determined to be a motorcyclist. I saved up my money for months, working two part time jobs after school and on weekends, until I had the enough coin. I bought a CB350 Honda (this was in 1969, I was 16), rode it home, and parked it in the garage. My folks were speechless. I do believe they gained a new respect for me right then though. Then they just pleaded for me to be very careful. Your older brother and mother will hopefully respect you more for wanting to be your own man, and making your own important decisions.
The Intl Moto Show is coming soon, it's a good opportunity to see and sit on all the bikes, without some salesman breathing down your neck. Good luck and ride safe.
 

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Dont be too hard on nervous parents.
Both my wife and I ride, and we were nervous when our son first decided to get his motorcycle licence. Its a parents job to try to keep our children safe, no matter their age. And no one knows the inherent dangers of riding more than someone who rides. :eek:
All we could do was try to steer him in the right direction and insist he take riding courses, wear safety clothing etc, etc. And then worry while he was out on his bike. ;)
 

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Dont be too hard on nervous parents.
Both my wife and I ride, and we were nervous when our son first decided to get his motorcycle licence. Its a parents job to try to keep our children safe, no matter their age. And no one knows the inherent dangers of riding more than someone who rides. :eek:
All we could do was try to steer him in the right direction and insist he take riding courses, wear safety clothing etc, etc. And then worry while he was out on his bike. ;)
I am well aware of a parent's natural defense mechanism for worrying about their children. I do not approach most conflicts directly but this one is an exception where I will be as direct as possible. In other words, straight to the point and cold, which is unlike me. Last night my older brother who tries to "control" everything I do (says you can only "drive" at these times, can only hang out with these "people," you can't have a fast car, you can't move out on your own, you're a kid, what the **** do you know, you have no life experience, and etc) which annoys the insert censor here out of me, said that I need to "sit down and have a talk about this whole motorcycle thing." Pissing me off greatly.

My parents were strongly opposed to me getting a motorcycle. When I asked my dad to help me out, he used to say, "I'm not going to sign your death warrant". But, it was in my blood, and I was determined to be a motorcyclist. I saved up my money for months, working two part time jobs after school and on weekends, until I had the enough coin. I bought a CB350 Honda (this was in 1969, I was 16), rode it home, and parked it in the garage. My folks were speechless. I do believe they gained a new respect for me right then though. Then they just pleaded for me to be very careful. Your older brother and mother will hopefully respect you more for wanting to be your own man, and making your own important decisions.
The Intl Moto Show is coming soon, it's a good opportunity to see and sit on all the bikes, without some salesman breathing down your neck. Good luck and ride safe.
It's not in my blood to be a motorist, but a desire to ride as a hobby. I've always wanted to experience what it felt like to ride the world famous Harley Davidson motorcycles that I used to watch appear in boot-legged movies from the Western world which was smuggled into Iran. Believe me, they will not respect me at all. I again tried to call mom and tell her I am getting a motorcycle, regardless of what you or any one says, and her reply was this; "if you want me to have a stroke and die, go ahead." I'm thinking of calling her bluff. My patience has been waning for a while now. I waited patiently until I came to a point where I am independent and my own MAN. Not any one else's man. At the age of sixteen, I was denied. At 17 denied again. 18 denied again. 19 denied again. 20 now, independent, and standing my own ground.

Here is a good way to explain things to mom. Riding a motorcycle is only as dangerous as one makes it. If you are taking chances and pushing past the limits of a bike, yes death is almost upon you. If you drive normally and keep a vigilant eye on traffic your chanced of dying goes way down. You can die slipping on a banana peal. Things r going to happen in life. You need to live for today cause tomorrow may never come. But you can't live your life being afraid of everything that may kill you or it wouldnt be a life worth living.
Will write down and report back on this.

How's this? Mom, I need to tell you something. I'm gay and have Aids. When she stops crying tell the truth. Well it might work with some as a shock factor. Wouldn't have worked with mine since she was open minded and raised me the same. Or you've taken up bowling as a career. But you get the idea. Tell her something she never wants to hear other than you riding. Then give her the good news. Heck she's going to be angry anyway according to you. What do you have to lose? :)
The only thing I have to lose is a relationship and bond with my mother, which would be her action that results in a termination of it. I pay $120 a month for my car insurance under her name, since I have full coverage on my car and need it for legal reasons (auto loan condition). I'm thinking of adding the motorcycle plan to my own name under an insurance plan if I can find one for a cheap price. I know for a fact that motorcycle insurance rates and payments are MUCH cheaper than a vehicle.

OK, so here I am at 66 years old, 67 this month, and I have the same problem. Every time I am around my dad I need to listen to his lecture about how unsafe my bike is. Mostly I just ignore it. There is no way I will ever change his mind on the subject. I have been riding since I was 18 years old and nothing has changed except which bike I choose to ride. Let's see, 66-18=48. I have heard the same old story for my 48 years of riding.
I'm only 20 and hear this same crap on a day-in and day-out basis. Also have a strong feeling I'll hear it for the rest of my life.

I want my parents to know that their actions of distancing me slowly with each action will come back to bite them in the ass, especially after I finish college. My major is accounting with an emphasis in corporate accounting, and I plan to get CPA license right after graduation. I will ALWAYS support them financially should there be a situation in which they are at risk, but my contact will be limited with them if they keep up this stupid attitude against my choices. For **** sake I'm a full grown "man" according to federal, state, and local legislation.
 

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Explain to your mom that the main concern of motorcyclelists is the drivers who speed, switch lanes without looking or signaling, use cell phones, brake late and other dangerous acts.

That might get their attention and also save you and other riders in your area.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Explain to your mom that the main concern of motorcyclelists is the drivers who speed, switch lanes without looking or signaling, use cell phones, brake late and other dangerous acts.

That might get their attention and also save you and other riders in your area.
You know man, I've been pondering on the reason I suddenly have an urge for a motorcycle... symptoms of quarter life crisis. Just hit 20 years old, work full time, enrolled in full time community college before transferring to a four year university, have no free time anymore, no social life, either spend my days in the library, work place, gym, or bedroom.

The thought of riding on the roads, having a different feel while commuting, differences in scenery, and change over all seems like what I desire right now.

Back in the Midwest during the Cow Bow era, the western expansion after the Louisiana Purchase, the Oregon trail, convoys of wagons, the Gold Rush, that feeling of adventure and yearning for a purpose is why I want a motorcycle. My mom and brother are not helping in any way, shape, or form with their negativity and resistance.
 
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