Parents don’t want me to get a bike

932 Views 44 Replies 29 Participants Last post by bweighmaster, 8 h ago

saxguy67

Discussion Starter · 13 d ago

This isn’t the typical “I’m 18, live at home and I want to get a bike but parents won’t let me post”. I’m 25, 100% financial independent, live on my own, and I’d really like to get a bike. Just mentioning that I want to take the msf course to my parents is a very sensitive topic since they hate the idea of motorcycles. Does anyone have any advise? I’m really close to my parents and technically nothing is stoping me from taking the course and buying a bike but I don’t want to tarnish/taint my relationship with them by doing something I’ve thought about for years

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Doc Samson

· #2 · 13 d ago

saxguy67 said:
This isn’t the typical “I’m 18, live at home and I want to get a bike but parents won’t let me post”. I’m 25, 100% financial independent, live on my own, and I’d really like to get a bike. Just mentioning that I want to take the msf course to my parents is a very sensitive topic since they hate the idea of motorcycles. Does anyone have any advise? I’m really close to my parents and technically nothing is stoping me from taking the course and buying a bike but I don’t want to tarnish/taint my relationship with them by doing something I’ve thought about for years

As an independent adult, who is clearly showing mature thought by taking the MSF course, you should be able to do this and not have it tarnish the relationship.

Both my daughters have made many decisions that I strongly disagreed with. I might give them a hard time or discuss our disagreement but that doesn't change how much I care about them. I still love them and enjoy their company.

Reactions: 1

Traveller11

· #3 · 13 d ago

They'll get over it, just take the course.

Reactions: 5

Retired Guy

· #4 · 12 d ago

At some point in your life you will start making your own decisions and living with the consequences. Not everyone is going to like your decisions, but that is part of being an adult.

saxguy67

Discussion Starter · #5 · 12 d ago

Just signed up for the msf course 😊

Reactions: 5

genel

· #6 · 12 d ago (Edited)

I wanted a motorcycle since I was 8 and saw a kid riding a Bultaco on a vacant lot behind the local supermarket. My Mom used to say that I was going to get a bike "over my dead body" In my case, my Dad somehow got her "permission", and myself, Dad, sister and brother all rode.

Reactions: 1

bweighmaster

· #7 · 12 d ago

Never really cared about what anybody thought .. Started riding very early 5- 6 . Mini bike . Bikes were everywhere . Early 60s... Just got on and took off ... Been riding everything I could manage to get on ever since ... You do you... Enjoy ....

SemiFast

· #8 · 12 d ago

saxguy67 said:
but I don’t want to tarnish/taint my relationship with them by doing something I’ve thought about for years

Of course I don't know your people but most likely they are just afraid for you. Normal for a parent I would think.

I wanted a mini-bike ever since I was old enough to say mini-bike. My parents would have no part of that.!
... " You're not old enough to get a license and you can't license those things anyway. Doesn't matter what everybody else does " ... Must have heard that a thousand times.

You could get a motorcycle license at age 15 so I'm mowing yards to buy a motorcycle that you can license and studying the D.L. test handbook too.
Father:
You've always wanted a mini-bike, don't you want to get one of those instead?
Me:
No. You can't license those things.
Father:
Beat by his own words said nothing.
Me:
Looking back at it I should have been more polite about it. Feel a little bad about that now.
I mean he was letting me get a motorcycle after all. He even became my Chief Mechanic and apparently still liked me too.

Been riding bikes ever since, and I'm OLD!

S F

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Reactions: 2

WormGear

· #9 · 12 d ago

Yep, same here...
I didn't get a motorcycle until I was age 57, out of respect for my father's wishes.
Hang gliding & auto racing nearly killed me as a young adult

(permitted sports that are way more deadly)
How about starting small...Sneak in a scooter or small trail bike that is also road legal.
Work your way up from there.

RogerC60

· #10 · 12 d ago

Do you have any insight into why they are so strongly against motorcycles? Maybe somebody they knew a long time ago was killed or crippled on a motorcycle. If it's possible to have a conversation with them about it, you might be able to better defend your own position and maybe persuade them a little bit. OTOH, if they refuse to talk about it, there's not much you can do besides decide to live your own life.

Reactions: 1

hogcowboy

· #11 · 12 d ago

You might consider going ahead with the course but not let them aware of it. In doing so you might find it just isn’t for you or your instructor might suggest you find something else to do. It’s not for everyone and with the distractions of today it’s much more dangerous than in the past. Or maybe they would not care as much if you only rode off road rather than street.

Reactions: 2

Sparkman

· #12 · 12 d ago

RogerC60 said:
Do you have any insight into why they are so strongly against motorcycles? Maybe somebody they knew a long time ago was killed or crippled on a motorcycle. If it's possible to have a conversation with them about it, you might be able to better defend your own position and maybe persuade them a little bit. OTOH, if they refuse to talk about it, there's not much you can do besides decide to live your own life.

My mother has always been dead set against motorcycles because she believes they are "too dangerous" once I moved out and started living on my own, I took the MSF course and got the bikes I wanted. I never told my parents and rationalized it by stating "they don't need something else to worry about". My wife is ok with bikes but insists I wear a helmet. I am now 60 and my mom is 92. She still doesn't know and my wife sometimes jokingly threatens to tell my mother on me about the bike!

Reactions: 1

cattzap

· #13 · 12 d ago

As a parent I get it. My sons are 30 and 27 and if either got one, I'd be not 100% on board with them. Especially my youngest. If someone just passes him on the highway, he's still at the point of "Oh no you don't" and will run 95 to prove a point to someone he doesn't know and who's not even noticing him. My oldest is more stable and I can see enjoying some riding with him, although he would be more of the crotch rocket variety instead of long distance cruiser that is my style. As a rider , I know the dangers and I wouldn't want to loose one of them this way. That's part of riding, it can happen.

And as a parent, what can I say to you...you'll be doing what you do and you'll be making your own decisions. It's a learning process for parents to go thru as well, and a letting go process. You've been their responsibility from the beginning and you don't let go of a commitment that long in just one day. When kids say I'm grown and can do what I want that makes it tougher on the parents, so consider how you go about it. Their reaction will be oh no your not anywhere near grown and you have no idea yet. Show them the safety side your doing and the MSF course, and the gear you'll be getting. Don't go flying off and getting tickets right away. Don't take off on a 1000 mile trip the first weekend. If they aren't riding people, it will be harder for them to deal with it, so show them that you'll be responsible about it, don't just say it.

Don't take it to the point of breaking any bonds or connections or making a riff with them over it. You'll always need each other forever. That will never go away.

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ChiefGunner

· #14 · 12 d ago

saxguy67 said:
This isn’t the typical “I’m 18, live at home and I want to get a bike but parents won’t let me post”. I’m 25, 100% financial independent, live on my own, and I’d really like to get a bike. Just mentioning that I want to take the msf course to my parents is a very sensitive topic since they hate the idea of motorcycles. Does anyone have any advise? I’m really close to my parents and technically nothing is stoping me from taking the course and buying a bike but I don’t want to tarnish/taint my relationship with them by doing something I’ve thought about for years

Difficult but at some point you have to be your own man. Parents (speaking as one) have a hard time letting go. Their behavior is one born out of love but they have a hard time seeing the individual. I went through the same thing when I bought my first bike. I was active duty military for almost 9 years but they still opposed me. The relationship is fine and they’ve accepted my choices although my mom prays for me a lot. 😁

Reactions: 1

Unkle Krusty

· #15 · 12 d ago

At 25, well actually much prior to that, my parents, mostly my mother, was used to signing a form that allowed me to play rugby. She had been doing that since I was about 5. Legal age in NZ at the time was 21. However I still had her sign a form, for when I played with the over 40 mob. She was used to it.
So, 25. I had been riding bikes for 10 years, at the track for 2. Seemed reasonable to me.
I think the only real consideration is to stay safe. These days there are safety classes, and you are signed up. Sweet.

johnny42

· #16 · 12 d ago

It's probably pretty hard to find parents (that don't ride motorcycles) that would encourage their kids to ride motorbikes. They probably all have the same opinion of the risk factor.

I think it's going to be up to you to demonstrate you're taking a safe approach like taking the course and riding a "beginner" bike (whatever that means). Perhaps they'll see this and become a bit more comfortable with you riding.

On the other hand, if you let them dictate your actions, you may regret the time you lost not riding.

There's a lot at play here emotionally if you're that close with your parents.

PotHeadSteve

· #17 · 12 d ago

You're a grown ass man. If your parents have a problem with how you roll then that is on them.

Reactions: 2

oldenslow

· #18 · 12 d ago

Here's what you do: Get high, rob a liquor store, get caught and convicted, spend six years in prison. Once you get out, the bike won't seem such a big deal.

Just remember -- it's not only YOU who needs to grow up...

Reactions: 4

bweighmaster

· #19 · 11 d ago

Comments like that , NOT needed .....

Reactions: 1

Steadfastly

· #20 · 11 d ago

I ran into the same thing. It took a little while for them to finally accept it but when I had no accidents and showed myself as a mature rider, they stopped worrying, at least outwardly.

Reactions: 1

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