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A 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from a local jr high school when a man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. He turns to her and asks,
"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl and she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks and a bag of candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we go for a ride."
The little girl stops, turns towards him, stomps her feet and says:
"Look Dad -- You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley ...
 

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Wrong ending! Should have been:

"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks and a bag of candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we go for a ride."
The little girl stops, turns towards him, stomps her feet and says:
"Move back Dad -- I'm driving!" ...
 

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A gynecologist was interested in starting a new hobby, so he decided to take up motorcycle repair.

He enrolled in motorcycle mechanics school and made it all the way to the final exam.

The exam scored 50 points for disassembling a motorcycle and 50 points for reassembling a motorcycle.

When he get his test results, he saw that he had a score of 150 points. He went to the instructor and asked about the score.

"You got 50 points for disassembling the motorcycle, and 50 points for reassembly," said the instructor.

"What was the extra 50 points for," asked the doctor.

The instructor answered, "You did the entire procedure through the exhaust pipe."
 

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A gynecologist was interested in starting a new hobby, so he decided to take up motorcycle repair.

He enrolled in motorcycle mechanics school and made it all the way to the final exam.

The exam scored 50 points for disassembling a motorcycle and 50 points for reassembling a motorcycle.

When he get his test results, he saw that he had a score of 150 points. He went to the instructor and asked about the score.

"You got 50 points for disassembling the motorcycle, and 50 points for reassembly," said the instructor.

"What was the extra 50 points for," asked the doctor.

The instructor answered, "You did the entire procedure through the exhaust pipe."
You mean he didn't put the bike up on stir ups?
 

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A motorcycle mechanic is having lunch at a restaurant, where he noticed sitting at the table beside him was a guy he knew was a surgeon at a local hospital..

"Hey doc I have a question. Our jobs are surprisingly similar. Just today I completely disassembled a 'sick' engine, found the cause of the bikes 'illness' and proceeded to adjust the valves and replace damage and the worn parts, then finally I reassembled the whole bike.

Why is it you get paid so much more than I do? After all you do basically the same thing except with humans?"


The doc thought for a moment, smiled, leaned toward the mechanic & said...



"... try doing all that with the engine running the whole time"
 

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A motorcycle mechanic and his friend from high school, who was now a university professor, were having lunch at a local restaurant. After looking at the menu they both decided on the grilled trout. After the appetizer and the salads, the waiter placed two plates to the table. The mechanic grabbed the plate with the larger trout and left the professor to take the plate with the smaller trout.

"You know," said the prof as they both started to eat, "that wasn't very polite of you to take the larger trout. It doesn't reflect well on your education and position in society."

"I see," said the mechanic. "So educate me, old friend: Out of politeness, and to reflect well on your education and position, which trout would you have taken?"

The professor sat upright in his chair and swelled his chest with a little pride as he said grandly, "Of course, I would have taken the smaller trout!"

The mechanic smiled while stabbing another morsel with his fork and said, "And so you have it."
 

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A biker's wife gets a call from the local hospital

"Ma'am, you need to get down here right now, your husband has been in a horrible accident."

So she runs down there, finds him in the ICU and grabs his doctor. "What happened? How is he? Is he going to be alright?"

The doctor looks at her sadly. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Your husband is paralyzed from the neck down. He is basically a vegetable, broken spinal cord. From now on you will have to feed him, bathe him, clothe him, change his soiled diapers...re is incapable of doing even the smallest tasks."

The woman starts blubbering uncontrollably. "Oh my God, l can't believe this!!! I just saw him this morning and he was totally fine! I don't know what l'm going to do, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me!!!"

The doctor looks at her and says, "I'm just [email protected]#&ing with you...he's dead."
 

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"... try doing all that with the engine running the whole time"
There's several different additions to that one -

Doctor, "And they don't print a maintenance manual"

Mechanic, "But you've only got the one model to work on."

Doctor, "And spare parts are a bitch to get."
 

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And this one's for Eye!

On the farm lived a chicken an a stallion, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing when the stallion fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the stallion told the chicken to go get the farmer. Off the chicken ran, back to the farm, but the farmer wasn't there. Running around, the chicken saw the farmer's new Harley with the key in the ignition. The chicken got a length of rope and rode back to the bog.

Tying the end of the rope to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike and throwing the other end to the stallion, the chicken then drove slowly forward and pulled the stallion from the bog.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit and cried out to the stallion to go get the motorbike and save his life. The stallion thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large mud pit. He told the chicken to grab his thingy and he would then pull him out of the mud pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the stallion pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (Yeah, there's got to be a moral!) "When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"
 
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