hello everyone my name is raven. long story short i love riding ever since i first road on the back of my fathers bike ive enjoyed it. But nightmares and fears often consume me after coming home one day from school. see i started to attend school in fall of 2013 and i was working towards a degree 3 weeks into school i was coming how when traffic was heavy at a 4 way stop knowing other route to get home i took a right instead of a left to go down a small neighborhood. My plan that day was on the way home to stop by cycle gear for a new jacket. But i would never make it there. as i rounded the corner and accelerated to about 15mph a Mercedes that i thought seeing no lights or moment threw the shaded windows thought was parked made a swift U turn right in front of me i as quickly as i could swerved to the left hitting the front right light on the car and then black. you see two things where going threw my mind at that point 1. please don't let anything be wrong with my hands (you see i had just came back from the bay not driving for a while so my hands were not yet use to my gloves my father lectured me often about it and right before i got on my bike to leave school because of the heat i said to myself "its to damn hot for these" and in my bag they went) and 2. thank go i had not worn what i was going to (that morning i had wanted to leave in a min skirt fishnets a tank and heels).when i finally open my eyes i say a boy get out of the passengers side i had taken off my helmet and sat up throwing it to the side and picking my phone out from under my bike (fyi gotta hand it to ZTE they make a heavy duty phone landed under my bike face down no case no scratch screen just a few scraps on the sides) the driver got out next and the passenger helped me to my feet as the driver carried my bike to the side of the road. i took a good chunk of his grill off and busted his light to my surprise. first thing i did was call my dad we lived a short bit away so it was no big deal he showed up only to find out the boy had just gotten out of DUI school and had just got his license back not only that but had to start his care with a breath test. My family has always been the ones to be nice so we let the boy off with purchasing me new gear and a new bike. at the time it seemed fair i was not badly injured a few scraps nothing bad little did i know this event would scar me and lead to much worse then just a few scraps. the days following i had nightmares about the crash i couldn't sleep and still road my bike to school as if everything was ok i started to feel pain on my side and it hurt to walk but other then the dreams i guess i was ok. until i started seeing danger everywhere i would hit the breaks instead of the horn i drove slower my reaction time was slowed. a week later i was coming home from school and right before my driveway i had herd a horn i swerved onto my lawn fell on the right side and slid in my driveway. that left me with a crushed tibia plateau and road rash on my right side.. i couldn't walk. for 6 months but 2 months in i was ridding my bike with my crutches on the back i got back on the horse that threw me. i like to think i survived. until last week. my mother had asked me to go get he something from the store i had a headache and told he i didn't feel comfortable driving so she took me so i could go in so she wouldn't have to. at a stop light right before we were to turn for the store a car stopped to let another one go the lanes were clear so she went an at at least 60mph a truck was trying to make the now green light and smashed into the car. I shook my hand wouldn't stop shaking im having nightmares again... I don't know what to do... is this normal..