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hello everyone my name is raven. long story short i love riding ever since i first road on the back of my fathers bike ive enjoyed it. But nightmares and fears often consume me after coming home one day from school. see i started to attend school in fall of 2013 and i was working towards a degree 3 weeks into school i was coming how when traffic was heavy at a 4 way stop knowing other route to get home i took a right instead of a left to go down a small neighborhood. My plan that day was on the way home to stop by cycle gear for a new jacket. But i would never make it there. as i rounded the corner and accelerated to about 15mph a Mercedes that i thought seeing no lights or moment threw the shaded windows thought was parked made a swift U turn right in front of me i as quickly as i could swerved to the left hitting the front right light on the car and then black. you see two things where going threw my mind at that point 1. please don't let anything be wrong with my hands (you see i had just came back from the bay not driving for a while so my hands were not yet use to my gloves my father lectured me often about it and right before i got on my bike to leave school because of the heat i said to myself "its to damn hot for these" and in my bag they went) and 2. thank go i had not worn what i was going to (that morning i had wanted to leave in a min skirt fishnets a tank and heels).when i finally open my eyes i say a boy get out of the passengers side i had taken off my helmet and sat up throwing it to the side and picking my phone out from under my bike (fyi gotta hand it to ZTE they make a heavy duty phone landed under my bike face down no case no scratch screen just a few scraps on the sides) the driver got out next and the passenger helped me to my feet as the driver carried my bike to the side of the road. i took a good chunk of his grill off and busted his light to my surprise. first thing i did was call my dad we lived a short bit away so it was no big deal he showed up only to find out the boy had just gotten out of DUI school and had just got his license back not only that but had to start his care with a breath test. My family has always been the ones to be nice so we let the boy off with purchasing me new gear and a new bike. at the time it seemed fair i was not badly injured a few scraps nothing bad little did i know this event would scar me and lead to much worse then just a few scraps. the days following i had nightmares about the crash i couldn't sleep and still road my bike to school as if everything was ok i started to feel pain on my side and it hurt to walk but other then the dreams i guess i was ok. until i started seeing danger everywhere i would hit the breaks instead of the horn i drove slower my reaction time was slowed. a week later i was coming home from school and right before my driveway i had herd a horn i swerved onto my lawn fell on the right side and slid in my driveway. that left me with a crushed tibia plateau and road rash on my right side.. i couldn't walk. for 6 months but 2 months in i was ridding my bike with my crutches on the back i got back on the horse that threw me. i like to think i survived. until last week. my mother had asked me to go get he something from the store i had a headache and told he i didn't feel comfortable driving so she took me so i could go in so she wouldn't have to. at a stop light right before we were to turn for the store a car stopped to let another one go the lanes were clear so she went an at at least 60mph a truck was trying to make the now green light and smashed into the car. I shook my hand wouldn't stop shaking im having nightmares again... I don't know what to do... is this normal..
 

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I would like to start by qualifying that I'm not a physiologist or anything of that sort, but I can see where that kind of thing can be disconcerting.

I do know some about motorcycling from experience. Being under-confident on the street can be as dangerous as being over-confident. It can cause delays in reactions or worse yet a rider can freeze up when an emergency maneuver is called for.

If you want to continue to ride, I would suggest a training course. I'm not sure of your current skill level, but there are classes from beginner on up to advanced available. Even an experienced rider can get some value out of any of the motorcycle courses offered. Taking a course and regularly practicing what is learned not only keeps your skills sharp, it will help to build the confidence needed to ride as safely as possible.
 

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If that's your "long story short" ........I can imagine what a truly LONG story must be like, coming from you! (lol)

Fear is a paralyzing thing. We can let it run our lives, or we can learn to control it.

It is not something that we ever truly get rid of. It's just that each of us experiences it in our own way, and to various degrees.

Clearly, your own accident, and the second one with your mother, have set a tone in your life, that can make you cower or stand. It's totally understandable that you would be ultra-sensitive to the potential for trouble.

In one way, that's a good thing, because most young folks tend to feel that they are invincible. It's why most of the folks who are sent into war, are young. Their strength, and their sense of immunity.

You were right to "get back into the saddle." It's great that you did that! Life is full of those types of situations that force us to decide if we are going to stand up and go, or sit and hide. ("Fight or flight" they call it).

Personally, I'm not superstitious about things. I know lots of folks are. So, if I were in your shoes, it would not be in my nature to keep score, and figure the odds were against me, but...........

Let's be real for just a moment. You experienced "first hand" how easy it is to have a mistake occur (on a bike or in a car) that may or may not be your own fault, and the consequences of it.

Obviously, riding a motorcycle is more dangerous than being in a car, simply because you are less protected. That's a risk factor that you either accept or reject. But certainly you can still be injured in a car.

For now, while you are still shaken by the events of the last while, with the motorcycle and car, you would benefit from things that help you find that balance point inside yourself, so that you can deal rationally and calmly with your concerns/fears. Whether that's some form of spiritual meditation, or medication; or even talking it out like you've chosen to do in here. That's a starting point.

Once you find a way to put it in perspective, keeping fully aware of the dangers "out there" (regardless of the mode of transportation) but staying calm in your approach to it.........you're then able to begin to take little incremental (fragile) steps towards rebuilding the confidence you need, to face future struggles.

They will come.....those "future struggles." We face them all our lives. The unpredictability of life, and the predictable. It's how we minimize the risk that counts. We learn, over time, how to do that. Sometimes we don't (I certainly can't claim that I always made the right choices) make the best choice for us, and sometimes, even when we do, we STILL find ourselves in a pickle, not of our own making.

Someone in here said not long ago, that we should (as we ride, since this a motorcycle Forum after all) think of the other drivers as "all idiots." Don't let yourself believe that the others around us will be of sound mind or of good judgement. From a rider's perspective.........better we assume the WORSE, and prepare for it, than to assume the BEST and pay for it!

That's what "S.I.P.D.E." (taught in most Basic Rider's Course) is all about..........

Scanning (to be fully aware of what's around us)
Identify (spotting potential trouble spots ahead)
Predict (piecing together a potential hazardous scenario)
Decide (choose NOW what to do to avoid that potential)
Execute (adjust NOW before hand, to avoid it)

-Soupy
 

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I hope for the best for you, physically and emotionally.
Honestly, you really need a kind therapist to help you walk through everything on your mind.
You will eventually come to see your experiences as painful, but helpful lessons.

I think the previous posters, Dodsfall and Soupy, are spot on with their thoughts.

Good luck -- let us know how you're doing.

goalie
 

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Discussion Starter #6
so just to update a bit im still riding from the time i posted this and now i have become better at my turns again and a lot better and seeing people do stupid things before they happen. on top of that i want to thank those who posted here it put my incident into perspective. i never sought professional advise however i did start driving a car for a bit on a permit ... hated it. on my motorcycle again and im better then ever even taking longer trips then before im now 21 and its been 4 years since the incident so thank you all so much for the support !!!
 

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Certainly great to hear you are doing so well. Good for you and keep the dirty side down:thumbsup:
 
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