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ZAMM Fanatic
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2,732 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
GOOD WRITING:

A buddy of mine let me ride one of these [Turbo Secas] decades ago when I had MINIMAL motorcycle experience. Took it out on the 405. ..

Damn thing very nearly got away from me!

The throttle response was decidedly non-linear. One minute you had no boost and no power, the next INSTANT you were deathgripping the handlebars for dear life.

NOT a bike for casual commuting.....more like a carnival thrill ride.

- From http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1029363&highlight=seca


GREAT WRITING

.. the way it made power that was truly breathtaking. By breathtaking I mean it would scare the everloving piss out of you with the most evil turbo lag this side of the ass-engined Porsche 930. Up until 4500-5000 rpm it behaved like a standard KZ. Then all hell would break loose and it would go tearing towards redline with a spurt of violent acceleration.

-From OddBike.com

ok, ok, different bikes, but they were both FORCED INDUCERS....
 

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Very Famous Person
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9,694 Posts
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I didn't want to join to be able to read the link, but the sample noted in the first post as "Great Writing" is anything but. Very amateurish.

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Nightfly
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3,721 Posts
I agree with you Ron. Aside from the fact that nonlinear is not a hyphenated word and deathgripping is not a word, it is amateurish. But why the link?

And in the example of great writing, ever-loving IS a hyphenated word. And the word "inducers" is not the correct word, should be induction.
 

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Premium Member
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6,555 Posts
Writing

Rookies would tend to use adjectives and other descriptors to jazz up the story.

More experienced riders tend to just give the facts in plain English.

So if you want bull****, read the great writing. If you want the facts, read the good writing.

Example: Hilary's words after climbing Everest. " We knocked off that ******* "
Can you imagine what a great writer would say?

Another example: Mike Hailwood was asked how the Honda he was riding, handled. " Like a pregnant cow in quick sand " And how he felt after a win at the IOM " Nackered "

Unkle Crusty*
 

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Very Famous Person
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Rookies would tend to use adjectives and other descriptors to jazz up the story.

More experienced riders tend to just give the facts in plain English.

So if you want bull****, read the great writing. If you want the facts, read the good writing.

Example: Hilary's words after climbing Everest. " We knocked off that ******* "
Can you imagine what a great writer would say?

Another example: Mike Hailwood was asked how the Honda he was riding, handled. " Like a pregnant cow in quick sand " And how he felt after a win at the IOM " Nackered "

Unkle Crusty*
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There are many ways to explain, and more even, to present great/good writing. There are so many open boundaries. When I wrote Sharing a Biscuit, for example, it was to get the reader to open his imagination and picture the ride, and stop, along the way on the roads through the tall grass country. If one does not imagine, any descriptors are wasted. What I did here, too, was to re-write an idea someone else said in another thread, but what I would have described as a first draft (although, in truth, this piece I typed out in probably fewer than 20 minutes, so I suppose some might call it no better than a first draft).

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Retired twice: Navy and as a govt contractor
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11,518 Posts
And in some cases, I'm not even a good reader.
 

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Premium Member
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6,555 Posts
Writing

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There are many ways to explain, and more even, to present great/good writing. There are so many open boundaries. When I wrote Sharing a Biscuit, for example, it was to get the reader to open his imagination and picture the ride, and stop, along the way on the roads through the tall grass country. If one does not imagine, any descriptors are wasted. What I did here, too, was to re-write an idea someone else said in another thread, but what I would have described as a first draft (although, in truth, this piece I typed out in probably fewer than 20 minutes, so I suppose some might call it no better than a first draft).

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I thought what you wrote was pretty good. However my gripe is similar to what T R said above. The writing may seem good, but knowledge of the subject matter, and the grammar may be lacking.

Often it is the reporters and announcers that bug me.
At the bike races on telly, handling becomes a three syllable word. As in handle-ing
Tonga is pronounced tong-ga, using the g twice. Chimney is chim-n-ey.
The weather net work girl said during the last fiscal year. I think she meant this last calender year.

Years ago the local TV station wanted to talk to me about the latest boom in the boating business. It was early 1982, the start of the biggest disasters for the boating business. Our unit sales dropped 75%. I laid of 10 of the 16 staff.

So the writing may be pretty, but I would rather have the correct facts, in plain English.

Unkle Crusty* having fond memories of old P H, just call me Powerhouse for short.
 
C

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One thing I learned a few years ago (well back in 2003) if you post what you think your skills are you will get flamed. I learned that the hard way with graphic and website design. I will say the flaming I received (when I thought at the time I was good) was hard to deal with to put it mildly. Some of the responses was beyond belief but realized that maybe I was not as good as I thought I was. Hmmmm, maybe my work was not clean and coding was a mess. However, over time I took all the flaming and tried to do better each time I created something keeping in mind what others said about my so called last works of art.

To this day my writing skills are not good but graphics and coding has improved. If I do any kind of work with websites I usually have someone else do the writing. I mean, lets face, I suck at writing. lol And no, I do not make a living doing website crap. So no I would not quit my day job.

EDIT: I am not talking about RonK's posts or anyones posts except for the OP. I never post anything that has not been thrown at me in the past, all I will say is, you're writing needs work.
 

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American Legion Rider
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18,651 Posts
There is also a major difference in writing for pleasure and for technical. Technical being just enough to get a job done. You might say, although I wonder sometimes, that's normally what you see here. Or maybe that's what I wish we see here.:D
 

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Aging & Worn
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Things that I have learned about writing any type of story:

1. Write about something you know something about.


2. Re-read and re-write numerous times.


3 Write it like YOU'D like to read it.


4. Avoid repeating unnecessary details.


I'm working on a new Novel at the moment. I'll be doing extensive re-reads and re-writes for quite a while. It takes a few years before ANY book is ready for Publication.

Here's a look at the first rough draft of Chapter One:

Chapter One

The Mission

“Darn Computer,” were the two audible words that came from Josh's pursed lips. The inaudible words were much worse! But nobody would hear those.
With his forefinger and thumb together, he reached up to his face to brush his mustache off his lower lip, with a motion that has become familiar when manipulating his Tablet, to enlarge the font.
“Nancy!” Jim spoke loudly to get his wife's attention, knowing that he was only trying to find someone to share his frustration with, rather than have any real help. “What's up with this PC anyway?!”
A faint and muffled feminine voice from the adjacent room, was audible but not understood. She was too far away. The tone of the response however, let Jim know that she would be too busy to give him any immediate attention.
Not only did the PC shut down this time, but just before it went black, a message came onscreen saying “Fatal Error.” This could not be good! He was right in the middle of an e-mail that he was supposed to have completed and sent yesterday; the deadline for his Organizational Newsletter submission.
1600 words were all he needed, for soliciting funds for the small Mission work that he had founded in the Northern woods of Maine. Just enough info to fill in the gaps since his last submission
for the previous months edition. Most folks that received the Newsletter, were already up to speed on this project, since its inception some 2 years ago.
He tried rebooting the PC, but it wouldn't respond, so he pushed his well-used Captain's Chair away from his desk with a push of both hands against the front edge of the table. The left rear wheel on the chair gave him trouble. The wheels were old and made of wood, and each time he attempted to move the chair around, one particular wheel that had a chip in it, didn't roll without catching and dragging.
“Don't scratch the floor, Jim,” was clearly heard this time, as Nancy moved from where she was working, passing his doorway on the way to the kitchen. “What were you saying a few minutes ago? You're having trouble with what?”
“It's the dang PC again, Nan (Jim's pet name for his wife); I think it's ….......well.....I don't think I can fix it this time.”
Money is tight when you are doing a work that is more honorable than gainful. The focus of the work was not based on monetary gain for those involved, but obvious to everyone was that some sort of budget had to exist for the Mission work itself, as well as its Staff, no matter how few.
The “Mission work” in this case was a small AM radio station, that was previously a Repeater location for a Rock-n-Roll radio signal from 30 miles South. At one time in its heyday, the station was a viable thing, occupied by its own crew, broadcasting secular programming from 6 AM to 6 PM. But after many years of activity, finally shut down and became nothing more than a ghost building.
Five years before, Jim had been traveling up to these northern woods, dotted with five-hundred acre potato farms, as he often had, to re-connect with his years of living there. The road to his former family home was familiar with him, so any changes (which did not occur much in that area) were blatantly obvious.
Once he got to the last 20 mile stretch before his destination, he passed the familiar brown-brick building, with its out building that housed electrical transmission equipment, and a 1500 foot tower behind it, held in place by a number of guide wires. It sits on a open plot of land with a broad and expansive view of the low rolling hills around it, faced by the one road that leads to more of the same.
Something possessed him, as he drove past that building. He remembered being there by invitation years before. He and two others were to be interviewed concerning a local Christmas Program being done by a local Church. He remembered the studio, the mics in their suspended holders and long arms; the tables in a horseshoe and the electronic equipment that covered the walls and rose from floor to ceiling. It was much like the studio he would work in himself years later, in a modestly average town in Connecticut.
Doubling back with a u-turn on the road that was easily done, since “traffic” was not an issue in such a remote place, he pulled into the parking lot and got out to walk around.
Peering in the windows, the building was dark. He could make out the desks of the front office, and some wall cabinets that were no longer filled. The brick of the exterior was weathered but intact, and the pavement of the parking lot, although showing some weed growth, was in good order. The electric meter on the side of the building was turning a charge, so he knew there was power at least.
It seemed a shame to him, as he looked around, that this place was abandoned. There wasn't a whole lot of hope and entertainment for the folks of this remote region, and many of them were elderly now, and in need (so he felt) of encouragement.
Getting back into his vehicle, Jim went through a range of emotions about the station. As he drove to his friends house where he would stay, he entertained a dream that he was not seriously thinking he could fulfill. “What if that station could be bought,” he asked himself. Making up his mind to find out, he kept it filed away in his mind during his first night there, and into the next morning.
It was at breakfast the next day, sitting with his peer and friend of many years, that he brought it out into the open.
“Bob, I'm telling ya; it sure surprised me to see WRLM sitting there empty!!” his friend didn't share the same enthusiasm outwardly, but if pressed, could be very vocal. It wouldn't be long before Josh could get a response if he pressed it, so he did.
“What if we could buy it? I mean; what if we could get it back on the air?”
“WBBX” bought that station, Jim with a tone of indifference, “and is using it as a Repeater for their Rock-n-Roll programming. You'd have to talk to the Management there, to find out. You're not really serious about this, are you?”
The more Jim thought about his own question, the more he realized that this would be a worthy project. But whether or not “he” was “the guy” to do such a thing, is another matter. He was no radio station expert. His life had been in Manufacturing. As a kid, he used to pretend to be a radio announcer. He had a small square turntable and a paper towel tube that he would sit next to, and play records and announce the songs thru the paper towel tube.
But this was different. This was project management. This was financial deliberating and negotiation; hiring of Staff, and much more. A project like this would take some savy that Josh wasn't sure he had. On the other hand, he never batted an eye at the details, which seemed superfluous to the main idea. Perhaps he should have “counted the cost” a bit more at the beginning, but didn't.
After breakfast, Jim told Bob, “I'm gonna drive down to that radio station.....what was it.....?”
“WBBX,” Bob said, “it's on the main road through Blunderson. You passed it on the way here. Over by the Pederton Potato House by the fork; know where I'm talking about?”
Not being the best example of navigational skills, or a sixth sense about what direction he was headed in at any given time, Josh nodded a head bobbing of understanding, “yea, I know.” He really wasn't sure, but he didn't want to appear like an idiot to his friend. He had spent years trying to be more like “Bob,” and less like “Jim.”
Bob was a farmers son. He had a common sense that was pervasive up there in those woods. Very self-reliant and confident. Very “can do” in his approach to life. Jim wished he could be more like him, and tried at every turn to be such. Bob had a strong background in structural integrity and a common sense approach to whether or not something was worth the money, time and effort.
For Jim, this meant that he could rely on his long-time friend to give him a straight and logical response to things. “Maybe Bob can help me at some point with this, if this thing gets serious,” Jim thought.
Leaving the driveway of Bob's house, Jim set out to find WBBX. It would be a good drive back the way he had come in yesterday, but he had nothing but “time.” He was on his own; a personal “vacation” if you will. Even Nancy had encouraged him to go up alone, so that he could have time to re-connect with his past. She knew how special this area was to him, and didn't want to interfere with any spiritual benefit that Josh could find, by a chance to be “back up home” in the woods. She was always good to him that way.
But now, this was no longer just a “get back to nature” trip. This had turned into something more. A “mission” of sorts. Something unexpected; unplanned, and bigger than even Jim could envision. He was operating on blind dumb luck.
 

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Nightfly
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Definitely a good point cowboy, writing for pleasure is much different than writing a technical manual, or some other venue. But this should not relieve a person of knowing proper writing skills. Writing for personal pleasure still shows the character of the person and leaves a mark of intelligence that will be shown to those who read the words.

A great first line is the collateral that grants the author a line of intellectual credit from the reader, something the reader will unconsciously commit to. The writer wants the reader to think that line was so damn good, I’m in for the next 50 pages. A strong opening line is imperative, so that the book seems to come out swinging. But for now it's important that a good opening line is assertive. It has no need for junk language or clumpy ten-gallon words. A good opening line is a promise, or a question, or an unproven idea. It says something interesting. It shows a shattered status quo. A good opening line is like a stone in our shoe that we cannot shake. Writing a killer first line to a novel is an art form in which there are a few masters and a great many apprentices.
 

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Premium Member
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Dictionary

If'n Y'all Cain't Speak Southern wouldn't wanna be readin mah books .. :)
I had to write a dictionary for the folks that could not understand Crusty speak.
Was mostly sailing terms. The US, Ozz, NZ and England, often have different words for the same thing.

Unkle Crusty*
 
C

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Things that I have learned about writing any type of story:

1. Write about something you know something about.


2. Re-read and re-write numerous times.


3 Write it like YOU'D like to read it.


4. Avoid repeating unnecessary details.
Writing is something I just could never do well. I always wanted too but could never write in detail what I wanted to describe, explain, and so forth. I admire true writers for what they write and respect them for doing so. I have my strengths and weaknesses and writing is not one of my strengths.

Like you, I could never write any kind of novel. It is an ability or so called gift I just simply do not have.
Image uploading. Refresh page to view
 

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Nightfly
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Writing is something I just could never do well. I always wanted too but could never write in detail what I wanted to describe, explain, and so forth. I admire true writers for what they write and respect them for doing so. I have my strengths and weaknesses and writing is not one of my strengths.

Like you, I could never write any kind of novel. It is an ability or so called gift I just simply do not have.
Image uploading. Refresh page to view
Write for yourself, give it a try. When writing, don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. Ernest Hemingway said, "to be a writer, all you have to do is sit at a typewriter and bleed." How true that is. And read everything.
 
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