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ZAMM Fanatic
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2,730 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
On behalf of everyone I've insulted on this forum, women riders, bad drivers, BMW buyers/owerns, the HD crowd, noobs, crotch rocketeers, people who don't know a no-start from a no-crank,

I'd like to offer my (annual) one-a-year apology.

I express my opinions TOO strongly, without consideration of folks feelings or holding ANYTHING back. I'm the Howard Stern of blogs, often going for shock value when worthwhile content would require actual work, research, editing, etc.. Like FOX news, I'm going for RATINGS, not FACTS, and the key is always to insult some minority in order to get the MAJORITY nodding their head in agreement.

Like Ducati owners. We can ALL agree they're complete idiots for buying ANYTHING made in Italy, right? (Except for pasta or Sophia Loren..) Damn communist pinko f8gs, American bikes JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH for 'em? Damn wops putting Japanese workers out of jobs in Shinjuku!

As EyeMNoAngel can attest, I seldom let those pesky things called FAX get in my way. Especially in technical discussions.

I need to start prefacing things with "It's my opinion that" rather than stating them as fact, as in, "It's my OPINION that a lead acid battery measuring 12.3 volts is half discharged. Glass full versus half empty, IN FACT that battery is half-FULL, is it not?

Folks regularly point out that I'm just too negative, and it's (probably) true. I personally discount the theory of "positrons" and ONLY see the negative electrons doing the work in most circuits. And in life itself.

Those of you who have already BLOCKED me prolly will never see this heart-rent apology, but...

It's not done out of malice, it's just that deep down inside I'm very insecure and making an azz9hole of myself makes me feel good. If your opinion of guns, liberals, conservatives, Barack Obama, GWB, Condi Rice, etc. doesn't coincide with mine, I'm just gonna make up some facts and leave the onus on YOU to disprove whatever I yank outta my butt.

In fact I'm a blog agent provacateur, spewing out nonsense I don't even believe myself (that women can chat on cellphones while driving just as well as men) and then just walk away and watch the firefight that ensues.

I've been asked/told "Wade, you really don't GIVE A @#$ what anyone else thinks, do you?"

It's not true. Deep down underneath I crave the acceptance, accolades, companionship of strangers on the Internet I'll probably never meet in person. I only insult and antagonize folks to get the attention I probalby never got from my adoptive parents, who, well, ya know, "had a bad accident" when I was 12.

Fortunately the Juvie system let me out at 18, and I've been free to grind my axe on other fosters and Internet forums ever since then. My fundamental belief is "A poke in the eye with a sharp stick" keeps BMW owners from bragging about their over-priced, over-engineered bikes which bring dealers no end of income and laughter at anyone who believes themself superior enough to buy one of these overpriced, overly-complex things with computer-controlled heated handgrips.

As for HD riders, I guess just deep down KNOW in my heart there really IS no motorcycle but a Harley Davidson, and the rest of us ALL secretly wish we could one day become a HOG owner/rider, even if it's just a Sporty, and gain the RESEPCT we deserve by hanging fringe from our ape hangers, annoying the public with open pipes, and leaking oil everywhere we park. Like a dog marking it's territory, you NEVER see some pasty white accountaint with glasses complaining about the oilstain, now do ya?

I've decided TODAY, that based on my motorcycle choices (Vespa), apparel (Power Ranger outfit),



shoes (only the nicest leather!) that I AM in fact "gay" and WOULD appreciate any suggestions on Murses (Male Purses) that would go nicely with a red Vespa. As Doctor Scott said in "Back to the Future" when Marty McFly told him "But what if I come back and I'm gay!"

"Why don't you deserve to be happy, Marty?"

And Eye, in fact I DO have a small Italian clutch. It's in my Vespa.

That discussion of how you REAL men (and WOMYN!) "Mount" your bikes really got me all worked up, although Critter's comment about flowers and chocolates has convinced me HE is the one I'd like to motor down memory lane with.

Well, I think I'm going to go out on my scooter now and admire those REAL MEN who ride HD's, get my feelings hurt when the patched guys don't wave back, and in general, just learn to temper my feelings and opinions here and on other blogs, you know, be more CONSIDERATE of the FEELINGS of other riders and readers.

Yeah, NO!

Happy April Fool's Day
 

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Retired twice: Navy and as a govt contractor
Joined
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12,787 Posts
I knew it when I saw the subject. Now I will go back and read it,
 

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Retired twice: Navy and as a govt contractor
Joined
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12,787 Posts
Wade if I can keep up with your Vespa, we can take a ride together, not sure it will be that ride but I am sure it will be one to remember :)
 

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So long
Joined
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2,739 Posts
Wade, lots of people bury the truth in a joke. Now we all know, well maybe not all. Just those of us who managed to plow through the big steaming pile of pancakes that you posted. :)

Happy April Fools' Day.
 

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MODERATOR
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7,448 Posts
What better person to appreciate April fools day:biggrin:

Sam:coffeescreen:
 
C

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Guest
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0 Posts
And here I thought we had an actual apology from the only god like Wade himself, but nope, not yet. Maybe it will come someday but don't hold your breath, you will probable suffocate.
 

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ZAMM Fanatic
Joined
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2,730 Posts
Discussion Starter #14 (Edited)
Commander Pulsar, if I have REALLY AND TRULY insulted you, hurt your feelings, or disrespected you with anything I've posted here on MCforum then please accept my sincere apology.

Hey, I'm a blowhard who tries to entertain, make others laugh, think, help diagnose their bikes, and mostly... GET OUT AND RIDE. It's who I am, and I sometimes step on some toes / cross some lines with my OPINIONS. That's all they are, opinions!. Don't take it personal. I don't even KNOW you well enough to insult you, lol -- and I only TEASE the people I like.

Lastly, CP, if my liberal theology, "brand" of humor and postings isn't to your liking, feel free to use MCForum's BLOCK feature and simply read around me, eh?

As for whoever wrote: "TLDR -- Too Long Didn't Read", hey, allow me to summarize my post for you:

KMA

Short enough? ;)
 
C

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No Wade you never hurt my feelings or anything like that. No apology needed. Most of your posts are fine I have no real issue with them. My only real grip about you is your lack of respect for woman from some of the posts I have seen from you. But that is just my opinion.

I will admit you get members posting here thats for sure. A lot of your topics get replies so you must be doing something right.
 

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Motorcyclist/Trucker/ Deplorable
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1,154 Posts
I know I see his stuff, and bite my lip and then he renews himself. So it balances out. It is official Wade is human. Mostly.
 
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