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So, maybe I am the only one with enough guts, yea you read that right, to actually want to help new riders. I seriously doubt it. What do you really want to know?
 

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I don't know about noobs, but I'd say you're a squid if :

1) You rev your engine for no reason or have an extra loud exhaust, just to make sure people from 10 km away can hear you.

2) You do burnouts. Okay, wheelies and stoppies are cool, but burnouts? I never understood why anyone would want to do that.

3) You think the only cool bikes are sport bikes, everything else is crap.

4) You don't wear gear.

5) You don't show any respect towards the other people on the road.
 

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You choose your bike, and the gear, based on how you think others will react to you rather than because of what you truly want.

You become obsessed with determining who is a real biker and who is a wannabe.

You wouldn't be caught dead wearing an item of gear with the name of other than your current brand of motorcycle.

You grew facial hair only after you bought a motorcycle. (This goes double if you are female!)
 

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You choose your bike, and the gear, based on how you think others will react to you rather than because of what you truly want.

You become obsessed with determining who is a real biker and who is a wannabe.

You wouldn't be caught dead wearing an item of gear with the name of other than your current brand of motorcycle.

You grew facial hair only after you bought a motorcycle. (This goes double if you are female!)
OK I agree. I bought my winter riding jacket, an FXRG from HD when I owned a Yamaha cruiser. I still like that jacket and use it on my Victory Vision, definitely a touring bike. When equipment works it just does. Why change it just because you change bikes? Heck I also rode 2 different HD models with that same jacket. It is awesome.
As far as facial hair. I have had a nice mustache for over 40 years and my kids don't even recognize me without it. My beard is another matter. I worked in an industry that required my chin to be clean shaven at all times to be able to wear a face mask. I only grew a beard after I retired. At that time I was riding one of my HDs.
 

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E-gads!

I'm a good mixture of noob, squid, and a few other things combined. I thought maybe I was just slightly anti-social, but this is far, far worse then I suspected.
 

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And if you are a new BMW rider you must learn how to NEVER smile while on your bike. Riding a BMW is too serious a business to possibly enjoy yourself. Or maybe new BMW riders are just too hot and miserable, since they must always wear a full riding suit, even in the hottest weather, so that smiling is impossible.
 

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BMW riders? No smiling?

I thought it was us Harley riders that were not allowed to smile due to our superior attitude.

This is getting confusing. I need a cheat sheet or something.
 

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I can rarely tell if a Harley rider is smiling. The mandatory facial hair makes it tough to tell whether the rider is smiling or grimacing!
 

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Owned BMW's and Harley's. Gone to rallies of both. BMW riders are snobs. Harley riders are just rude. Ends up looking about the same to the general populous. Both drink way too much. But I could keep up!:D
 

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Anyone old enough to remember "You meet the nicest people on a Honda" ?

I just don't know where this leaves me, squid, Noob, or whatever, I ride a Honda and my riding buddies ride Harley, BMW, Kawasaki, oh and one guy has a new Triumph.

Is it fun putting labels on people, many undeserved.
 

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Pegasus trapped in a human body on a motorcycle
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And if you are a new BMW rider you must learn how to NEVER smile while on your bike. Riding a BMW is too serious a business to possibly enjoy yourself. Or maybe new BMW riders are just too hot and miserable, since they must always wear a full riding suit, even in the hottest weather, so that smiling is impossible.
BMW riders are too busy trying to figure out the eleventy billion electronic gadgets and gizmos to smile.
 
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