Motorcycle Forum banner

Choopers done HIDIOUSLY! O_O

22K views 70 replies 36 participants last post by  ottawa rogue 
#1 ·
Yeah, there are some BEAUTIFUL bikes out there. Some machines that make you want to step back and break out the white gloves, they are so sweet...

Sadly, there is also the other side of the bell curve, and I wish to dedicate this thread to them. Maybe, just maybe, someone who is thinking about building a chopper will look here and be scarred into a frenzy of machine perfection!

Here is my first submissions for your viewing displeasure =(





 
See less See more
1 2
#40 ·
Rebooting an older thread...if you really want to see some piss poor "customs" hit CraigsList and type "bobber" in their search bar. You'll find scores of bikes that have been dismantled, sawzalled, and rattle-canned to death --- anything but actually being bobbed --- carrying prices two to three times above KBB.
 
#42 ·
What I learned about motorcycles from CL.

Bobber = Missing the pillion and maybe some of the rear fender.
Custom = Has a bunch of factory or dealer bolt-ons. Maybe apes. Maybe spikes. Probably studs.
Custom Paint = Painted with a spray can, probably after huffing half of it. Or it has flames. Or flaming skulls.
Custom Bagger = Has saddlebags.
Custom Exhaust = Cobra or Vance and Hines, straight out of the catalog. May or may not be tuned accordingly. May be "wrapped" to hide damage. Probably debaffled with a drill and a mop handle.
Chopper = Really skinny front tire. Forks brazed on to tree.
Modified = Incorrectly repaired.
Modified Intake = K&N air filter. Maybe some fake louvers.
Heavily Modded = Every "performance" bolt-on found in a J&S catalog. Yeah, they have some good stuff, but you shouldn't put all of it on one bike.
Professionally Maintained = I changed the oil myself. Once.
Project Bike = Basket case.
Parts Only = Bent frame, torn seat, box of burnt wires.
Ran When Parked = No it didn't.
No Title = Former parts bike. Possibly stolen.
Rare = Nobody wanted this when it was new, and it's terribly used now.
Rare Import = Chinese.
Restored = Cobbled together from bikes of various years and parts from Autozone and Home Depot.
Restored Harley Davidson or Indian = S&S engine and carburetor.
Ready to Race = Completely ragged out.
Adventure Bike = Beat all to hell plated dirt bike.
Low Miles = Odometer broken.
Classic = Old.
Antique = Does not run. Can't find parts.
No Leaks = Leaks.
 
#47 · (Edited)
Pretty cool old bike. Ive worked on it over the years changing things and customizing. 900cc /stage 2 jets in the carbs with a lift in the diagrams/open exhaust/air pods/10 speed hi lo. Loud!! Runs great but could use a tune. (Title)
Runs great but could use a tune?? If it needs a tune up, it doesn't run great. Or maybe he means it needs it's own theme song:confused:

And I love it when "Loud" is considered a selling point...

The only tool that bike needs is a guy to buy it:p

Oh and add this one to the list...
Rat Bike= I'm too lazy to get the hose out and am hoping that the rust and grime are covering many of the real issues with this old scoot.
 
#48 ·
I don't get the big deal with never been dropped. Never dropped off a bridge? I could see that being relevant to its condition. But so what if it fell over in the driveway? Nothing really bad happens when they just fall over. The instructors in MSF did that to show us how to pick them up. And then we rode around.
 
#51 ·
LOL!

And if you forget to put the stand down, get off the bike, and walk away before it falls, you either have the most amazing self balancing bike ever, or you're half numb, slightly stupid, not at all in tune with your machine, and have no business being on a bike. :) (Or you're a liar.)

But true, any of the above will count as dropping the bike.
 
#59 ·
The problem with that bike is that it follows the typical CraigsList Bobberizer mantra of dismantle/sawzall/rattle can. In other words, it's incomplete. Not finished. But they insist on calling it what it isn't, "custom" and/or "bobber" and do so do inflate the price well beyond what it really is worth.

It's not a bobber, it's an anchor.
 
#60 ·
I don't have much issue with a guy or gal that wants to customize their own bike. There is something to be said for folks that do the work themselves. And some people don't have great talent, skill or cash to build a show quality bike. They do the best they can with the cash and skills they possess, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I generally respect them more than the guy/gal that drops a pile of bills on someone else to build them a custom ride.

Who has more bragging rights?
1. The guy with the dirty fingernails and paint stained blue jeans riding the hell out of a bike that he did himself with basic tools and a $5k budget.
2.Or the guy that knows nothing about shopcraft or bloody knuckles on a $50k butt jewelry bike that he seldom rides farther than the nearest pub.

The problem for me arises when either man builds himself up or brags about things he has not accomplished. Frankly, I would rather listen to a guy talk about a mediocre bike that HE built; instead of a guy rambling about a bike he had someone else build for him.
 
#61 ·
Who has more bragging rights?
1. The guy with the dirty fingernails and paint stained blue jeans riding the hell out of a bike that he did himself with basic tools and a $5k budget.
Therein lies the key. I'm talking about the ones who "build" a bike with a $0 budget.

Remove half the bodywork, sawzall the stock mufflers off leaving bare head pipes, and rattle can whatever's left. Weld scrap steel between the frame and swingarm. Yank the air box out and bolt on a salt shaker lid to the carb as a filter. Over-spray that rattle can onto the tires and seat because masking tape costs more than just money but time. Spray over the dirt and grime build-up while you're at it, because washing the bike also takes time.

Then calling it something it's not and (try without success) selling it at two to three times KBB.

 
#62 ·
About 20 years ago I needed a small dozer to do some work around the place and determined the most economical route was to rebuild an old machine myself. I got the remains of a 1952 Oliver and rebuilt it over about 10 months. The only work that wasn't done 'in-house' was boring the cylinders and pressing out/in the track bushings, both of which require specialized machinery. It was stripped down completely, all worn parts were replaced with parts that had to be scrounged up from all over North America. It was HARD work and cost me about $8,000 when it was done.



It looked so good right out of the shop that I took it to an antique tractor show an hour away. At the show, all the top prizes went to a trailer load of really beautiful farm tractors so I went to talk to the owner.

"Did you restore all these?" I asked. He said he did. When I inquired more about the mechanical work - he paid someone else for that. I asked about the beautiful paint job - he had paid someone else for that as well. It turned out that the only 'work' he did on the tractors was opening his wallet and paying others to do all the work. He may have been the owner but he certainly wasn't the restorer!

My little dozer doesn't looks so good any more - it has been earning its living by WORKING! :biggrin:
 
#64 ·
Dang Lady, that's assume. I wouldn't even tackle that because it's a track layer. I have a Case and I'm doing good just to dig a hole with it. And it really needs to be worked on. Pours out smoke like you wouldn't believe. I did put a rebuilt turbo on it but that's it. I'll drive it right into the ground before I tear into it if ever. Everything is just too heavy to deal with. Even the cover panels around the engine weigh near 40 pounds a piece and there is like 6 just to get into it. I'm impressed with your accomplishment. The heck with that show, you've done very good.

Hey, I have a hydraulic leak right smack in the middle of everything, way up under the hardest place to get. Want to work on it? I'll pay good.:D
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top