Motorcycle Forum banner

New Rider Struggling with Parental support.

Tags
parents
14K views 87 replies 22 participants last post by  Matty6 
#1 ·
Hey guys, just joined this forum to ask a question that's been floating around my head for quite some time. I'm 16, almost 17 and I have been riding a 50cc moped for about 2 years. My parents are 100% anti motorcycle. I've been told that if I buy one while either one of them are alive, they'd smash it to bits. I think their hate for it is mostly because they know lots of people who were disabled or killed on bikes, and I tried to explain that it was either stupid on the rider (Flying through traffic at 110) or a person pulling out. Saying I plan to start out on a 250 does not change their view. Either way, there is no support for me and I am completely stuck. I've been itching to ride for years, and this is a huge bump in the road. Thanks.
 
#2 ·
You're not even 17, give it some time. Your parents care about you and have their reasons for what they believe. Respect their decision and when you're old enough you can do as you wish.
Parents worry about their kids, that's what they do, you're time will come soon enough..
 
#49 ·
^^^^^^+1
I agree 100% with Tobacco Road!
Many ,many, many years ago when I was young,.( I'm almost as old as "Old Man 47"!!:biggrin:) .My parents were extremely opposed to me riding or owning a bike!
However, once I left home and was on my own after a Lovely overseas tour in 1971...and while I was still in the military I was stationed in a Beautiful Bike Riding State ( South Carolina)..I simply took the BRC and got a bike.
I have experienced the "While you Live under my roof you'll do as I say thing" so....just be patient!! I have been there myself. Once I had been riding for a few years without incident...they came around.
So, Welcome from the Hills of East Tennessee!!
Ed
 
#3 ·
I understand your point, and I don't plan on getting a bike until I get a decent chunk of change and until I'm about 20. It's just I want to be able to talk to them about this and get the support now. It'd be very bad to show up at a birthday party or christmas on a bike.
 
#5 ·
I have patience, but my parents are not able to be convinced. It does not matter what I say, but because of their past experience with bikes and friends being hurt this will be a challenge. Any tips on how to approach this, because all efforts so far has just made them even more anti bike.
 
#6 ·
First, I don't think you're exhibiting much patience. You don't get what you want when you want it, so you're not happy. That's life as a teenager. It's best you don't talk down to your parents. Accept their concerns for what they are. You'll never be successful convincing them riding is not dangerous, accept that, but be sure and explain how you plan on being a safe rider. Definitely wear a helmet, and take the riding courses, as many as you can. I don't know the cost of insurance for someone your age but it might be high, I just don't know. Just remember your parents are responsible for everything you do until you're 18. So that has to weight in there quite a bit. Relax, don't push it. Everyone today wants what they want NOW. It ain't gonna happen, sometimes you're forced to wait. Which I think is the best thing for you right now. Now what you want to hear I know....
 
#7 ·
Thanks, I see your point. From this point on, I'm just going to drop it with them until I can stand up on my own. I can't win, and in the long run it'll be best. Insurance would be crazy high, and if I keep nagging them it'd just make them more mad. I need to relax a bit and just let things happen and not rush.
 
#8 ·
I am not in your boat, l am 43 and able to make my own decisions. That being said, my girlfriend was very much against me getting a bike. She was worried that l would ride really aggressively and get killed. Her one experience with a motorcycle was on the back of a bike in France with a guy who road raced. She walked away scared to death and had it stuck in her mind that that was how motorcycles were ridden. Not that l felt like l had to win her over, but l wanted her to feel good about what l was doing. It is nice to have the support of your loved ones. So this is what l did.

I started by signing up for the BRC class, a few months before l bought my bike. I told her that l wasn't sure if l was ready yet, but l wanted to take the class and learn everything l could about safe riding. This got her ears perked up a bit.

While l was taking the class, l came home and told her all about it. I told her everything l had learned about safe riding, lane travel, reflective gear, helmets, modulated lighting, brightly colored paint, everything l could think of. She started to realize that l was serious about riding safely.

Whenever we would be out in the car and see a motorcycle, l would tell her what the rider was doing, whether it was correct or not. We saw a bike change lanes long before a car moved into his lane and l explained that the rider had anticipated that car wanting over so he changed lanes in advance to alleviate having to make a quick maneuver. We saw a couple of bikes riding really fast and l explained to her what they did wrong, how they had taken unnecessary risks, and why l would not be inclined to ride that way. Motorcycles started to take a different shape to her because it was no longer just a bike whizzing down the road, but rather a series of situations flowing from one to another.

All in all, she really changed her tune. She started telling her friends and family that l wanted a bike, and that she was starting to be on board because l was really safety-conscious. Now it is just part of our daily life.

Maybe your parents won't be so easy to convince, but don't underestimate them. If you approach it in the right way, and plant the right seeds, maybe in time they will come around.
 
#10 ·
Maybe consider getting one of those wimpy underpowered E-bikes first? They're barely faster or quicker than a pedal bike, but they ARE "powered bikes"...
If you can start with one of those, later you'll be in better position to convince your folks that your next (small) gasoline bike is only a tiny step up from the E-bike?
 
#12 ·
Excessive drinking causes about 88,000 deaths in the USA every year.

Obesity causes about 120,000 preventable deaths per year.

The problems caused by smoking, (including second hand smoke,) cause about 480,000 people in the US to die every year.

About 4,600 people die in motorcycle crashes each year.

Apparently riding a bike is safer then partying and pigging out at the buffet. :)
 
#13 ·
If you wear the correct gear, ride safely and have experience then you can be less prone to having a wreck or being hit. Due to my parents having several friends who died on bikes, they are very against me getting one. Thanks for the help guys, my time will come and I'll ride eventually. I can use this to continue working when I'm off school to save up cash.
 
#18 ·
Have your parents actually told you the stories about their friends who died on motorcycles? Maybe you should ask them to share that with you. An open line of communication is in your favor. If they can tell you about their friend that passed away, then you may have some new insight as to how they feel and why they feel that way. And maybe they will have a little bit more understanding as to why you want to ride, because you are thoughtful enough to be interested in their friend.
 
#14 ·
They don't have a problem with the moped??? Then tell them a motorcycle is a lot safer than that thing because you'll have the extra power to get out of some fools way. Now I wouldn't buy that argument if I had a boy but there is some truth there. You are going to be getting to the point that you are pushing the moped way past it's safe zone. That then becomes much more dangerous than stepping up to a real motorcycle designed for what you are trying to force your moped to do. They should consider that.
 
#15 · (Edited)
Im glad you said that, because I had mentioned that to them aswell. There has been many instances where someone has been 10 feet off my back tire and I had no more juice to get away. I eventually let them pass, but I agree with you. When I told them it'd be safer to get a bike with more power, so I don't have people cutting me off, they said that it would be best to sell them then. Either way, I'm stuck with the moped and waiting is the best option.
 
#16 ·
Welcome to the forum Matty.
I hate to have to break it to you but I have been riding since I was 18 and next week I turn 67. Every time I see my dad, now in his 90s, he comments about how dangerous it is for me to be riding and he wishes I didn't do it. Some things just never change when it comes to parent's concerns.
 
#19 ·
I guess l am really lucky. My dad had a bike when l was little, sold it with the intention of buying a bigger bike, and has never owned a bike since. When l was interested he was all for it...maybe just so he could ride my bike once in a while :) Now he is 66 and has Parkinson's and cannot balance well enough to ride, even though he still fantasizes about the FJ he always wanted. When l told him l bought another bike he was grinning from ear to ear :)
 
#22 ·
Matty you seem like a smart young man so listen to these guys you are getting a lot of wisdom here.You are very young give it time my friend,one of these days you will probably have children and you will understand.When you leave the nest then it will be time to ride,till then learn all you can and save your money.
 
#29 ·
I started riding at 43. When I was young, I would get hell from my parents when they found I was riding with someone. They weren't motorcycle people. My dad did drive an Indian once, and dropped it in a ditch. That was his extent to riding. Unfortunately, most parents don't envision the safe rider, they envision the ones who drive recklessly and take risks. It is a parents job to worry about their children, no matter what their ages are. Be thankful that you have parents that care about you. There is more and more parents out there now that just don't give a flying f about their kids.

When I broke the news to my Dad that I brought a bike, I was nervous. I lost my mom to cancer 5 years ago, and I was worried about giving him a heart attack. He was a bit upset at first. He said he wasn't worried about me, as I have been a safe driver in a car, he was worried about all the idiot cell phone wielding cage drivers. I simply stated to him, that I had accepted the risks of riding, and that I would rather die on my bike doing something that I love, rather than suffer through cancer like my mother did. Mom's death taught me that I have to live life to its fullest, not let things go for retirement. She never got to enjoy her retirement as she was diagnosed shortly after her last day of work. Her brother was sent to the hospital and never came back out on the way to his truck on his last day of work.

Right now you are living under their roof, so you do have to follow their rules. It's a tough pill to swallow, but they atleast deserve your respect about it. Use this time right now to study up on how to be a safe driver, maybe by them seeing you taking a serious interest in being a safe rider rather than just wanting a motorcycle, that may help a bit. Other than that, the only other option would be to wait till you move out, by a bike and ride in clothes they wont recognize and hide it from them. But give them a chance, they may come around.
 
#30 ·
Maybe they would agree to let you get a dirt bike to start with? One that wasn't street legal so there's no danger of you riding on the roads. Trails only.

That way they'd get used to you riding a bit, there wouldn't be much danger from other vehicles, and they would see how serious you are about being safe, wearing all your gear, etc., etc.

You would also start to learn and gain valuable skills that will help you when you eventually move up to a street legal bike, but that's a whole different chapter.
 
#32 ·
I never have understood why scooter riders are snob-ed. They face the exact same dangers as anyone else on two wheels. Maybe even more so. I don't get it. Elitism I guess.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top