What's the best way to tell my mom I want to take a motorcycle rider program?

[Innate]

I want to take a 20-hour motorcycle rider program at a college about 30 minutes away from my home. Most of the classes are full until August - so I think it would be best if I registered as soon as possible to make sure that I get a seat.

I am 18 years old, so legally, I don't need my mommy's permission to register. However, I will most likely need her to drive me to the classes as I don't have any other form of transportation. I know my older sister is also interested in getting an endorsement just so she could ride a scooter - maybe we could both take the course together and this way; she could drive me, but that's beyond the point.

The point is; I'm not sure how I should go about telling her that I want to take this program. Personally, I'm an introverted and even shy kind of guy. Plus, I hardly talk to my mom about anything, really. So i think it would be awkward for her 18 year old son to tell her that he wanted to take motorcycle lessons out of the blue.

I don't know if the thought of her soon-to-be 19 year old son riding a motorcycle is such a great picture in her head. If I recall correctly, she has ridden on a motorcycle when she was younger. Mind you, this was about the same time as dinosaurs roamed the Earth, but I remember her mentioning that it is a lot of fun. Of course, she realizes as much as I do that it is dangerous.

Regardless, if I do end up taking this course, I obviously intend on passing it. This would allow me to get my license without even having to take a written or riding test at my DMV.

Eventually, I plan on buying a 250cc sport bike whether it's new or used. A lot of people are saying that the Kawasaki Ninja is a great beginner bike - but that's a bit ahead of me.

well now i am rambling.

[trixter]

There are two schools of thought on this, based on what I have read on the forums.

The first is just say you are going to do it and ignore any resistance. While this may work if you are out of the house and not dependent upon your family for anything it does ignore the fact that you have to live with whatever the outcome is.

The second is to try to explain the benefits of taking such a class, how it lets you see if its something you would enjoy, and if you do enjoy it you would be safer because of the education. Make a list of all of the benefits of taking the class. I would also think about all the negatives about riding a bike and try to research the myths so that you can have actual facts to back up any claims like "its too dangerous" or "you will die".

For example, and I do not have the stats right here so these should not be used directly, most of the injuries to motorcycle riders are leg injuries. Most motorcycle accidents do not result in death or serious injury. There is a system that is used that ranks based on points and a spinal/head injury has more points than a leg injury. A lower leg (below the knee) is lower ranking than the femur. I seem to recall that most are ankle related.

You can also discuss the gear, good helmet, jacket with CE armor, riding pants with CE armor, sturdy riding gloves, over hte ankle boots. There are even jackets with air bags in them to reduce neck/spinal injuries even further (search the forums for 'air bag jacket feature matrix' for references on the jackets).

I am more of a fan of the second option rather than the first. If you have to deal with your family on any meaningful level beyond the conversation the first only sets up a situation for future hostility and/or animosity.

As for the 250 sport bike there really are only 2 choices in the US right now (that I know of anyway). The ninja and the cbr. The cbr is new so you probably will not find any used for sale anytime soon unless they are damaged from a crash. The CBR also has some additional features the ninja does not, it may not be for you but it at least gives you a choice.

[stantony1]

Trixter has excellent advice.

Definitely arm yourself with lots of facts and statistics and answers to any questions she might have. Do as much reading as possible.

Also, the course is obviously supervised and in a controlled environment? That is a plus to learn how to ride a motorcycle without worrying about traffic situations.

My mom hates motorcycles but when she found out I went to school to learn how to ride one properly, she was ok with it.

It's a good learning experience no matter if you continue or stop your motorcycling interest after the course.

[Killpill]

I can relate to you in terms of introverted and shy. I'm nineteen.

I ended up getting a motorcycle after initially planning on getting a scooter. If you mom is okay with you on a scooter, drive the point home that:
a) You are just an exposed on a motorcycle.
b) You can wear much more protective gear on a motorcycle without losing face. It sucks but full gear on a scooter isn't too hot right now.
c) You will care a lot more for your bike than a scooter.


Riding a motorcycle has changed me. I am still shy and introverted but my perspective on myself and the way people look at me has changed. I also started working out so I could handle my 300-400 pound bike better.

I've stalled in public. Almost dropped my bike in public. I practice in public and cars have stopped to watch. Be prepared for that. :P

Riding a bike will most likely bring a good change in your life and you may want to tell you mom that.

Have you been driving a car? I hope you have. I drove for six months (late bloomer! I started driving at almost 19!) before my car broke down and I ended up with a motorcycle. Those six months let me make a lot of mistakes that would have gotten me killed on a bike.

If you haven't, I highly suggest you drive for a while and learn. A lot of things you learn will shift over. Drive defensively and always be aware of what is happening around you.


I took the MSF course and aced the written part (easy). I passed the ridden part without much problem. I did all my own research. I found the type of bike that would fit me best. I found all my gear. Everything my mom looked up I had already read before her. She couldn't keep up with how much I learned about the bikes.

When I got the bike I drove around the neighborhood for three days to give her piece of mind, then I drove to my college without telling her I was going to. I told her when I got there and after that the bike has just become normal life.

I still practice. Focusing on control at slow speeds.

[CookinBeans]

Assumng your mother is still able to bend over and tie her own shoes and take care of morning ablutions without an RN holding her up, you might be surprise what's going on in her head. Heck- she might even remember your name.

She used to scrape the most foul residue off your azz, wonder if you were going to kill anyone when you drive her car, pray that you use a condom, and now you're afraid to talk to her?!

I suggest not "telling" her anything. Make some tea and have a sit down. I have a feeling you have lost touch with her. You might be pleasantly surprised if you talk to her like an adult instead of just your mother.

[ScrumDown]

Since you say hardly talk to your mom, this may be a good start to open up dialog. Tell her your thoughts, goals, and outlooks. Keep them concise and to the point. When she starts throwing the "whole motorcycles are dangerous" talk. Give her the talk of "that's why I am take the safety course" talk.

Always be courteous, but stick to your guns. Show her you are not just doing this on a bet.

[Biker Dash]

Like Beans and Scrum said, you should be talking to your mom. You would be surprised to find that she is not only your mother, but a real person whom you can learn a lot from and also someone whom you might find as a sourse of support. And by that, i dont mean she'll pay your way through college and let you live in her basement. I mean she'll back your decision quite possibly, especially if you talk with (not to, but with) her knowledgably about this and treat her with the respect you yourself would like to get. Parents do not have to be just parents. They can also be friends, teachers and your biggest fans.

[Innate]

Originally Posted by trixter

There are two schools of thought on this, based on what I have read on the forums.

The first is just say you are going to do it and ignore any resistance. While this may work if you are out of the house and not dependent upon your family for anything it does ignore the fact that you have to live with whatever the outcome is.

The second is to try to explain the benefits of taking such a class, how it lets you see if its something you would enjoy, and if you do enjoy it you would be safer because of the education. Make a list of all of the benefits of taking the class. I would also think about all the negatives about riding a bike and try to research the myths so that you can have actual facts to back up any claims like "its too dangerous" or "you will die".

For example, and I do not have the stats right here so these should not be used directly, most of the injuries to motorcycle riders are leg injuries. Most motorcycle accidents do not result in death or serious injury. There is a system that is used that ranks based on points and a spinal/head injury has more points than a leg injury. A lower leg (below the knee) is lower ranking than the femur. I seem to recall that most are ankle related.

You can also discuss the gear, good helmet, jacket with CE armor, riding pants with CE armor, sturdy riding gloves, over hte ankle boots. There are even jackets with air bags in them to reduce neck/spinal injuries even further (search the forums for 'air bag jacket feature matrix' for references on the jackets).

I am more of a fan of the second option rather than the first. If you have to deal with your family on any meaningful level beyond the conversation the first only sets up a situation for future hostility and/or animosity.

As for the 250 sport bike there really are only 2 choices in the US right now (that I know of anyway). The ninja and the cbr. The cbr is new so you probably will not find any used for sale anytime soon unless they are damaged from a crash. The CBR also has some additional features the ninja does not, it may not be for you but it at least gives you a choice.

I agree, second option.

Originally Posted by Killpill

I can relate to you in terms of introverted and shy. I'm nineteen.

I ended up getting a motorcycle after initially planning on getting a scooter. If you mom is okay with you on a scooter, drive the point home that:
a) You are just an exposed on a motorcycle.
b) You can wear much more protective gear on a motorcycle without losing face. It sucks but full gear on a scooter isn't too hot right now.
c) You will care a lot more for your bike than a scooter.


Riding a motorcycle has changed me. I am still shy and introverted but my perspective on myself and the way people look at me has changed. I also started working out so I could handle my 300-400 pound bike better.

I've stalled in public. Almost dropped my bike in public. I practice in public and cars have stopped to watch. Be prepared for that. :P

Riding a bike will most likely bring a good change in your life and you may want to tell you mom that.

Have you been driving a car? I hope you have. I drove for six months (late bloomer! I started driving at almost 19!) before my car broke down and I ended up with a motorcycle. Those six months let me make a lot of mistakes that would have gotten me killed on a bike.

If you haven't, I highly suggest you drive for a while and learn. A lot of things you learn will shift over. Drive defensively and always be aware of what is happening around you.


I took the MSF course and aced the written part (easy). I passed the ridden part without much problem. I did all my own research. I found the type of bike that would fit me best. I found all my gear. Everything my mom looked up I had already read before her. She couldn't keep up with how much I learned about the bikes.

When I got the bike I drove around the neighborhood for three days to give her piece of mind, then I drove to my college without telling her I was going to. I told her when I got there and after that the bike has just become normal life.

I still practice. Focusing on control at slow speeds.

lol, I've been considering hitting the weights as well. I'm only 5'6.5" and about no more than 135 pounds. I'm not sure if that's ideal for riding a motorcycle, but if I do get a bike, I plan on riding it to the gym regularly.

I'd say I've been driving for at least a year now. I was a late bloomer myself - I didn't take driver's ed until I was a senior in high school mostly because I shied away from it. It was funny, because I was in a classroom with mostly sophomore students and I was at least as nervous as they were.

I eventually got my license a while after graduating high school. I remember taking the driving test in my dad's car and being extremely timid with a complete stranger in the passenger seat marking me down. At the end of the test, the instructor told me that I didn't technically pass, but he passed me anyway because he could plainly tell I knew what I was doing even though I was so nervous. In fact, I've never drove in a car without the owner present.

Even though I've never driven a manual transmission, driving is starting to become boring, I think.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I'm always a chapter ahead of my mom thanks to the internet.



Thanks everyone.

[bountyhunter]

It doesn't matter how you tell her, she isn't going to like it. No mom wants her kid on a motorcycle. And after riding 40 years, I tend to agree with her. I would not want my 18 year old on a bike. IMHO, a little more maturity is needed than an 18 year old has. I remember all the stupid things I did when I was 18, and doing any of them on a bike is a life terminator.

You need to own a car and then get a bike. If a bike is your only ride, it will force you to ride in dangerous weather and that is never good. Get a car first.

[Eye_m_no_angel]

"Dear Mom.....You raised me right and I have learned to be a responsible citizen, with a confirmed moral obligation to my community and to my fellow human beings. I have decided to become an organ donor, and they're offering a class in that which I'd like to take..."

Might work, but I doubt it.

[Innate]

Originally Posted by bountyhunter

It doesn't matter how you tell her, she isn't going to like it. No mom wants her kid on a motorcycle. And after riding 40 years, I tend to agree with her. I would not want my 18 year old on a bike. IMHO, a little more maturity is needed than an 18 year old has. I remember all the stupid things I did when I was 18, and doing any of them on a bike is a life terminator.

You need to own a car and then get a bike. If a bike is your only ride, it will force you to ride in dangerous weather and that is never good. Get a car first.

I would never ride in dangerous weather, though. Obviously, there are going to be times when I absolutely can't ride my bike like in the winter. I don't know - my job is about a 45 minute walk away from home if you don't include snow. And I suppose I could take the bus to school. But if it rains, I'm screwed. ~_~

Has anybody here had a motorcycle but not a car?

[Killpill]

Originally Posted by Innate

Has anybody here had a motorcycle but not a car?

Me currently. I bought waterproof gear and rain wasn't bad.

I live in Florida though! Doesn't get too cold.

[Grok70]

Originally Posted by Innate

I want to take a 20-hour motorcycle rider program at a college about 30 minutes away from my home. Most of the classes are full until August - so I think it would be best if I registered as soon as possible to make sure that I get a seat.

I am 18 years old, so legally, I don't need my mommy's permission to register. However, I will most likely need her to drive me to the classes as I don't have any other form of transportation. I know my older sister is also interested in getting an endorsement just so she could ride a scooter - maybe we could both take the course together and this way; she could drive me, but that's beyond the point.

The point is; I'm not sure how I should go about telling her that I want to take this program. Personally, I'm an introverted and even shy kind of guy. Plus, I hardly talk to my mom about anything, really. So i think it would be awkward for her 18 year old son to tell her that he wanted to take motorcycle lessons out of the blue.

I don't know if the thought of her soon-to-be 19 year old son riding a motorcycle is such a great picture in her head. If I recall correctly, she has ridden on a motorcycle when she was younger. Mind you, this was about the same time as dinosaurs roamed the Earth, but I remember her mentioning that it is a lot of fun. Of course, she realizes as much as I do that it is dangerous.

Regardless, if I do end up taking this course, I obviously intend on passing it. This would allow me to get my license without even having to take a written or riding test at my DMV.

Eventually, I plan on buying a 250cc sport bike whether it's new or used. A lot of people are saying that the Kawasaki Ninja is a great beginner bike - but that's a bit ahead of me.

well now i am rambling.

Nighthawk 250 would make a good starter if you don't want a sportsbike. I rode my friends Ninja 250. I also love Nighthawks. The ninja is very fun, comfortable, and crisp as hell. It's definitely not too much bike. It doesn't even feel like it will go anywhere in first until your'e feathering it around 4000 rpm. But if you need to you can go a 110 down hill - with the wind. If you're a champ with the friction zone you can get it going at 2000rpm, but you risk stalling it and are lugging the engine. My friend who has ridden dirtbikes his whole life has one, and he loves it.

OPTIONS:
Just go take the class. If your mom won't drive you, get a bicycle. Get your endorsement and go buy the motorcycle. At the end of the day, you can do it. Why are you asking?

Find out if your fear of her rejection of the idea is real. Maybe she rode motorcycles, or your uncle did. If you bring it up in front of her friend who did it, and she tries to say it's too dangerous, she will feel completely uncool and her desire to stop you will become more passive aggressive. Ask around the family and see who else road motorcycles. Maybe someone already does. Ask yourself, is your mom really hostile to motorcycles anyways? Did she ever have a boyfriend who had a motorcycle? Was it fun for her?

Tell her you're going to get a scooter, take the class, then get the 250 and tell her it was cheaper. That's called lying. But what the hell is safer about a scooter compared to a 250? Nothing. As long as you get on the highway the danger isn't the shape of your vehicle. Motorcycles are more stable than scooters anyways.

At the end of the day a motorcycle is more dangerous than a car. There's just no arguing that. Funny thing is that the most dangerous part is the cars...but that isn't going to change.

You have a choice when you're 18, it's yours. You get to decide if you are in control of your own life or not. When you do so there are consequences, emotional, physical, spiritual, social and financial. The simplist thing would be to tell your mom what you plan on doing: BUT DON'T ASK. Anytime you ask women anything they say no. You have to alpha male it up and take what you want.

When you sign up for the class or ask to get a ride etc., have alternate plans. If I'm man enough to get a motorcycle, I should be man enough to take a bus, or hop on a bicycle.

Anyways, Sorry to be didactic. I hate using the second person (you, you, you). Truth is it's your choice. There is nothing stopping you but your own willinginess. Personally, I say go for it.

[CookinBeans]

Wow. You guys sure have dim views of mothers.

[Biker Dash]

not all of us...

[OTD]

I'm glad I didn't have to face this situation.
I wonder just how many of you at age eighteen would actually tell your Mom "Tough crap it's my life". Odds are very few to none.
There are a ton of ways to do this w/o being confrontational. Speaking to your Mom in a respectful, direct and assertive way can be done w/o being a b!tch it's not difficult. But to me it's the only way to handle it.

[Biker Dash]

Originally Posted by OTD

I'm glad I didn't have to face this situation.
I wonder just how many of you at age eighteen would actually tell your Mom "Tough crap it's my life". Odds are very few to none.
There are a ton of ways to do this w/o being confrontational. Speaking to your Mom in a respectful, direct and assertive way can be done w/o being a b!tch it's not difficult. But to me it's the only way to handle it.

At 17, I decided I waas joining the Marine Corps. My mother was not too thrilled about my decision, but she also understood that I was determined to follow my own path, and I felt a need to be serving my Country. Though she had told me that I could not get a bile as long as I was under 18 living in her house, she knew eventually, I would do as I felt I needed for my life. Maybe the reason she didn't want me getting the bike at the time is because she knew I was not ready yet for one.

As for telling her "It's my life," I explained to her rationally why I was choosing the path I chose. She accepted that.

[Innate]

Well, I just broke the news to my mom.

The first thing she did was laugh as if I was joking. Typically, she immediately asked; "You know how dangerous that is, right?"

I said that the point of taking the courses was so that I could learn about riding properly and overall safety.

That aside, she took it pretty well. She thought that it's a good idea for me to take the courses for the experience whether I decide to get a motorcycle or not (of course I plan to ), but I assured her that I wasn't going to buy one overnight.

So now that I've spilled the beans, I am yet to register for the classes. My mom told me to think it over it and let her know when I want to register whenever.

Now, I'm thinking I should register ASAP, because I know how popular these courses are and seats are filled until August. But should I give it a while? I don't want my mom to believe that I just made my decision in a heartbeat.

Otherwise, I think I'll register tonight.

[robow]

I'm a little late on this, but feel I have some insight that might help you out. Ask your mom to take the course with you. You said you two don't talk about much, so maybe something like this could improve your relationship. Hell, you, your sister and your mom could all take the class together.

[Innate]

Originally Posted by robow

I'm a little late on this, but feel I have some insight that might help you out. Ask your mom to take the course with you. You said you two don't talk about much, so maybe something like this could improve your relationship. Hell, you, your sister and your mom could all take the class together.

haha

i thought about that. it would be awkward as hell.

i think i might ask my sister if she wants to join my when i register tonight. that would be cool because i feel comfortable around her. she's 22, i'm 18. also, both of our birthdays are in August around the same time of our courses so..

[OTD]

You handled it well.

[robow]

Originally Posted by Innate

haha

i thought about that. it would be awkward as hell.

i think i might ask my sister if she wants to join my when i register tonight. that would be cool because i feel comfortable around her. she's 22, i'm 18. also, both of our birthdays are in August around the same time of our courses so..

That is one thing that sucks about parents; it may be awkward now, but eventually she won't be there anymore, and you might regret the missed opportunity.

But, it is your choice I am glad you told her and that it went well. good luck, and be safe.

[stuco]

Originally Posted by robow

That is one thing that sucks about parents; it may be awkward now, but eventually she won't be there anymore, and you might regret the missed opportunity.

But, it is your choice I am glad you told her and that it went well. good luck, and be safe.

+1 Enjoy your parents and loved ones while they are around.

[cbrrider]

I,m personally particle to the hondas myself they just seem to be more stable and lighter

[Colarider]

Originally Posted by Innate

Has anybody here had a motorcycle but not a car?

I am cageless for the last few months, might be a few more till I have one. So yes I have motorcycle only. Having decent rain gear can make all the difference, riding in rain is not that bad with proper gear. One other piece of advice for a new owner/ rider buy yourself a decent air gage and use it often, tire pressure is even more important on a bike.

[stantony1]

Hey Innate,

Make sure you tell your mom what you are up to. You handled the breaking the news to her well. Keep up the communication. She will appreciate it.

Tell her you are registered and class is coming up. Tell her you are looking for appropriate gear. Just keep up the comm.

Good Luck. Have a great time.

[NGBS]

I'm actually going through the same process. I'm thinking about starting to ride and I found this thread very helpful

[cmetzbower]

I started out the same way. I had my truck but the cost of fuel was killing me so at 18 I got my motorcycle. I told my mother what my plans were but also asked her opinion. She didn't like the idea but she could understand why because she owned two motorcycles when she was my age. I now only have two motorcycles because my truck has broken down again and I ride them rain, snow, sleet, cold, hot, and everything in between. I don't recommend doing that until you have had allot of riding time on YOUR bike. I have ridden different bikes and found each did different things and different speeds in different weather conditions. And the line between scooters and motorcycles has been blurred over the years, whats the difference between a 250cc motorcycle and a 250cc scooter? They make scooters up to 650cc now. Fortify yourself with knowledge including the realization that you may get hurt and what you will have to do in that instance. Chances are if your a shy guy then your prob not they type to take risks but if you are make sure she understands you understand the danger and consequences and you are going to plan accordingly. Also there are more then just the Ninja 205 and the CBR 250 out there. I have a Hyosung 250 that performs pretty good for me (I'm 6'7" and weight 300lbs) and it will still get up to 90mph with me on it. If I were lighter I could do over 100mph again. If you look around you would be surprised what you can find as far as used bikes go. Best of luck to you!